It's multiple choice -- or else

As a service to all the high school students who are -- or should be -- preparing for final exams this week, we provide this multiple choice primer:
Current affairs
Q. Discussion of Major League Baseball was dominated in the last week by news that:
a) Ken Caminiti took steroids during his MVP-award winning season.
b) Tampa Bay has replaced Minnesota as the second team most likely to be contracted.
c) owners and players agreed to settle their contractual differences with a game of paper, scissors, rock, thus avoiding any potential strike or lockout.
Q.Jason Kidd of the New Jersey Nets was angry at Boston Celtics fans because:
a) they shouted obscenities at his wife and child.
b) they shouted obscenities at him.
c) they asked him to get LeBron James' autograph.
Q.A sports event with world-wide implications, both politically and monetarily, began this week. Was it:
a) the World Cup soccer tournament.
b) the French Open tennis tournament.
c) Alex Rodriguez of the Texas Rangers balanced his checkbook.
Q.On Monday, Syracuse University won the NCAA lacrosse championship by defeating Princeton. Lacrosse can best be described as:
a) a ball and a goal game.
b) a town in Wisconsin.
c) hockey on grass.
d) football ... on any other illegal substance.
Mathematics
Q.Find the sum of all the money Anna Kournikova has earned by winning singles tournament championships in the last year. That figure would equal:
a) Zip.
b) Zero.
c) Nada.
d) Who cares?
Q.Russell Branyan of the Cleveland Indians has 32 hits in 151 official at-bats. His batting average is:
a) .212.
b) closer to the Mendoza Line every day.
c) Russell has an average?
Q.Bud of baseball is traveling West from New York at 100 miles per hour. Donald of the union is traveling East from Los Angeles at 75 miles per hour. Where will they meet?
a) In an empty ball park, sometime after mid-August.
b) On a picket line.
c) They won't meet. They haven't agreed to anything in years.
Civics
Q.Bud Selig is the head of what organization?
a) Major League Baseball.
b) Milwaukee Brewers
c) A sinking ship.
Q.Which of the following competitors or owners, who speaks a foreign language, won an American sports event in May?
a) Helio Castroneves.
b) Prince Ahmed bin Salman.
c) Which NASCAR driver did you have in mind?
Q.The country of France suffered a major setback this week when:
a) its World Cup soccer team lost its first game to tiny Senegal.
b) organizers of the great cycling race sold out to corporate interests. Get ready for the "Tour de McDonald's."
c) all citizens were asked to be friendly to tourists.
Extra credit
For 20 bonus points, complete the following sentence:
Major League Baseball owners and the players union will come to a contract agreement when ... (Earn 5 extra bonus points if you can complete the phrase without laughing.)
XRob Todor is sports editor of The Vindicator. Write to him at todor@vindy.com.