ANIMALS' CHRISTMAS

By HEATHER McKINNON
KNIGHT RIDDER TRIBUNE
FIRST THINGS FIRST. YOU SHOULD never, ever feel ashamed to spend more holiday dollars on your pets than on your relatives. That being said, where do you start?
Buying for animals is a little like shopping for toddlers. They already have more toys than they need, and they'd rather run around naked than wear that new snowflake sweater.
To help minimize your pet-shopping stress, we tested a variety of products on our own pampered critters and narrowed the list to a dozen possibilities -- from the usefully practical to the practically useless. (Unfortunately, time did not permit us to bring you the designer doggie umbrella; the pheromone emitting, behavior modifying plug-in; or cute holiday costumes of any kind.)
FOR THE ROAD
UIf you think your boyfriend looks hot in shades, wait until you see your dog. The creators of Doggles have combined the UV protection of sunglasses and the tighter fit of goggles to create a product that keeps wind, light and debris out of sensitive eyes. Though UV light may not seem to be a big threat to those in cloudy climates, nobody likes the icky eye problems that dogs get from sticking their heads out of the car windows. Buddy test-drove the large Doggles in metallic red. One strap under the chin and one behind his head and under his ears kept the lenses firmly and comfortably in place. At least he never tried to paw them off. At $23.95 Doggles are an affordable choice if you know a dog who needs eye protection, or extra attention from the ladies. They are available at www.doggles.com. Check the Web site or call (866) 364-4537 for retail locations.
IN THE BATHROOM
UClothing is seldom a safe gift for people, and the same can be said for pets. But who can't use a warm, snuggly bathrobe? Phoebe's, a Denver-based company for pooches who lap up luxury, sells After-Bath Robes starting at $32 at retail stores and its Web site, www.allaboutphoebe.com. We tried the pink cotton chenille number on 6-year-old shiba inu Hachiko, who didn't exactly enjoy her foray into fashion modeling, but did appear calmer after her bath than without the robe. The machine-washable robe attached quickly by Velcro tabs at the belly and neck and stayed firmly in place. For the robe or more spa items check Phoebe's Web site or call (303) 399-9080.
UAnother present in the "not so fun for the animal" category is the EzyBathe pet washing kit, designed to keep your reluctant bather from leaping out of the tub. Suction cups attach leads to two sides of the tub, and to your dog's collar, keeping him securely in place while your hands are free to commence the soap and water torture. The small pet kit comes with washclothlike gloves that lathered up and got the soap through Buster's lustrous layers faster than hands alone, and a soft extra-absorbent towel kept after-bath mayhem to a minimum. The EzyBathe system is available at Petsmart for $23.95 and is designed for use on cats and ferrets as well as dogs. A larger size is also available.
UAmazing how such lovable animals as cats can produce the most foul ... productions. Worse, they sit in your house all day, stinking up the air until you get home from work. Considering that, the LitterFree Self-Washing cat box is mostly a gift for humans. Gone, theoretically, is the trail of litter your cat tracks out of the box, replaced with washable plastic granules. Done too are your daily adventures in scooping. You simply hook the box up to a water supply from either a sink or toilet and put the outgoing hose into a utility sink or your toilet. With the press of a button, the box fills with water, grinds the waste into a fetid soup and pumps it into your commode. Then it dries the deodorized litter with a blower so it's fresh and ready for your kitty again. The process takes about 30 minutes, and since we've switched to it, our apartment no longer smells like a dirty old diaper. The price for such comfort, however, is high; the unit is $300, and the granules, replaced twice yearly, are $25 a pack, while detergent cartridges are $20 apiece and last for two months with one cat; available at Petco.
TOYS
UFat Cat Inc.'s line of toys includes the colorfully named and painted Catmat Boogie Mat for de Cat. Fourteen-year-old Petey, retired from most undignified playful activities, wouldn't pry himself away from this catnip-stuffed carpet even for a can of tuna, and 6-year-old Emma was rolling shamelessly on her mat before it was even out of the box. $30.95 gets you three folk-art designed mats plus catnip. Available at pet stores and at www.fatcatinc.com or call (877) 364-8697.
UIf you're looking for something really silly, try out Fat Cat's Fetch Art Dog Lips, rubberized canine versions of those big wax lips you played with as a kid. Three styles will have your dog smiling like a clown, a chicken or your average village idiot. Three of the four dogs who tried these loved them, chewing, tossing and chasing, grinning all the while. $34.95 will get you all three styles of these tough rubber, built-to-last lips. Available at most pet stores.
UMaybe your brainiac dogs need something a little more challenging. The Molecuball and BusterCube are both interactive treat-dispensing toys that kept food-motivated Buster intrigued for hours. The more he nosed and pawed, the more likely a treat would fall out. Beware: The Molecuball's shape, a pyramid fused from three plastic spheres, was easier for him to pick up and leave on the couch for unsuspecting guests to sit on. Both are available in two sizes at numerous pet shops starting at $12 for the Cube and $6 for the Molecuball.
IN THE KITCHEN
UIf your list includes the type of people who hold birthday parties for their dog, check out the "Three Dog Bakery Cookbook." The book presents 50 jowl-smackin' recipes from Grrrrrrranola to Bark-Mitzvah Squares. We skipped main dishes like German Shepherd's Pie and Labrador Lasagna and went straight for the cookies. Buster and Buddy loved the Simple Simon's Birthday Bones, but spit out the Banana Mutt cookies. Most recipes use basic ingredients and are simple enough for young children to prepare. A party menu from this book will elevate the most humble dog's social status. Available for $14.95 at book retailers and at Three Dog Bakery; order online at www.threedog.com or check Web site for retail locations.
UYour pets can neither read nor appreciate cutesy illustrations on dining ware. What this means is that you can feed them out of empty margarine tubs with no repercussions. However, we put down the Signature Feed Me Cat mat, which is largely useless, and replaced two of the re-used plastic dishes with these bowls, all of them decorated with cartoons of cats saying "Feed Me" and "Rub My Tummy" and "Where's the Catnip?" Now they prize that lone margarine tub more than ever, because though each cat gets the same amount of food in dishes new and old, the tub's the biggest bowl there. We've had to break up a few scuffles, but boy, do those new dishes look darling. You can find Signature pet dishes starting from $3.99 at www.sighouse.com and shop around for an endless variety of dinnerware delights at houseware and pet stores.