Putting holidays to work

Like it or not, the holidays are here. The good news may be the bad news, depending on your point of view.
You'll be seeing lots of people you don't normally see, including family members, your kids' teachers and even your partner's boss and co-workers. These encounters will happen over the dinner table, at school pageants, at company get-togethers -- maybe even in the parking lot at the mall.
For the unemployed, socializing holds the potential for both discomfort and opportunity. In either case, the best strategy is to be prepared. We'll take the two cases one at a time.
First, the discomfort: Imagine you're home for the holidays and your Uncle Bob, always a little tough on you, asks why you're still unemployed. After all, your cousin Mike has never been out of work, and he didn't go to college like you did. Squirming yet?
Or, picture your spouse's parents telling you about open jobs at the bank in town and asking, isn't it time for you to think about moving back to raise the kids?
Handling the family
The thing to remember is that Uncle Bob and your in-laws may have a point. It's just hard to take the point in the midst of a holiday gathering with an extra 10 pairs of ears listening. Your strategy is threefold:
UBefore the gathering, identify the people who might raise uncomfortable points. If necessary, enlist the help of a sympathetic relative to change the subject if things get too hot.
UAt the gathering, if the subject comes up, say, "Uncle Bob, I'm glad you mentioned my job search. In fact, I want to ask you for some advice. But let's wait until after dinner."
ULater, find Uncle Bob and ask for a specific piece of information: "Bob, I'm committed to staying in the ZZZ industry, and I need to meet all the people I can in the field. You can help by telling me anybody you know in this business, or anybody who would know somebody in this business."
Get it? Your real strategy is not just a gambit to keep peace at the dinner table. It's to make a networking contact out of Uncle Bob and anyone else who wants to "advise" you on job search.
Which brings us to the real opportunity presented by holiday socializing -- networking.
Getting connected
To network well, you need two things: contacts and a goal.
UTo be sure you're making the contacts, plan to attend at least five events during the season, including special worship services and open houses.
UNext, work on your job goal. If it is too vague ("To get a new job"), you'll get exactly the kind of advice you're trying to avoid, including lifestyle tips. But if you can ask for something specific -- contacts in a particular company or industry -- you'll do much better.
Networking at a holiday event -- your kids' school pageant, say -- isn't much different from a business setting. First, the basics: Dress neatly, arrive early, don't be the first to leave, and wear a name tag if one is provided.
When the pageant is over, chat with another adult. Break the ice by giving your name and asking if they had kids in the show. Now take the conversation another step: Have you lived in the area long? Do you volunteer for the school?
Go ahead, ask
The idea is to make a connection and keep the conversation going. If you sense any potential at all, you might just come out and ask, "You don't know anyone who works in the ZZZ industry, do you? I'm trying to make contacts in the field so I can get back to work again."
This holiday season, set a goal of asking 10 people for contacts in your field. If you make a solid connection with anyone, ask permission to follow up after the holidays. Pay attention to what your new acquaintances tell you about their lives. If there's anything you can do to help any of the people you meet, do it. That's what the holidays are all about.
XAmy Lindgren, the owner of a career-consulting firm in St. Paul, Minn., can be reached at alindgren@pioneerpress.com.