KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox Having 'Truman' as a guest no longer flies in their house

Dear Annie: My sister, "Lois," and her husband, "George," visit us every few months and stay overnight. I love Lois dearly, but she has a large parrot, "Truman," and insists on bringing him along because the bird becomes depressed when it is left alone or boarded elsewhere.
Truman also doesn't like to be in a cage, so George drapes a towel over his shoulder, and Truman sits there. Unfortunately, Truman is constantly eliminating, and he often misses the towel, and the mess ends up on my floor and furniture. During dinner, Truman sits on Lois' shoulder, and she feeds him from her plate. This is so unappetizing, I cannot eat at the same table.
Lois and George do not have children and love this bird like a baby. I understand their attachment, but frankly, I have come to dread their visits.
My husband has said, "No more," and I can't blame him. I love animals, Annie. We have a dog and cat, but they do not eliminate all over the house. I don't want to hurt Lois or cause a family problem, but this situation is not sanitary. I'm afraid Lois and George won't visit us anymore if they can't bring Truman. What can I do? No Long John Silver in Hartford, Conn.
Dear Hartford: Lois and George are over-indulgent "parents." They need to show more respect for you and your home. Letting Truman loose in the house is unhealthy and unhygienic, and it can be dangerous to the bird as well.
Tell Lois that you love her and enjoy her visits, but you no longer can tolerate Truman's behavior in your house. If she insists on bringing him, he must be caged. If she refuses, offer to get together at her home or in a neutral place.
Dear Annie: Three weeks ago, my brother told our family that he and his wife, "Sophia," had decided to separate after two years of marriage. Sophia apparently had a brief affair with a co-worker, and my brother was devastated. When Sophia moved out, my brother was such an emotional mess, he could barely get out of bed.
Two days ago, my brother announced that he and Sophia are reconciling and she already has moved back into their house. My family is absolutely incensed that my brother has forgiven her. My sisters say, "She'll take him for everything in six months." My brother says, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." My mother says, "She may be my son's wife, but she will never again be my daughter-in-law."
While I am surprised at the speed with which the two of them reconciled, I am happy for my brother and have no idea why my family is making such vitriolic, bitter comments. How should I behave toward Sophia? Sensitive Situation
Dear Sensitive: Try to stay neutral, and encourage your family to do the same. Sophia's behavior hurt everyone. However, if the reconciliation works out, those nasty comments will come back to bite them. If it doesn't work out, your brother will appreciate that they didn't make things more difficult or say, "I told you so."
Dear Annie: I have recently been diagnosed with a chronic condition that requires me to see a physician every three months. The problem is, I become terrified when I step into a doctor's office -- my heart starts beating rapidly, and my chest feels tight. Any suggestions? Phobic in Davis, Calif.
Dear Davis: Talk to your doctor about your medical phobia. He may have some suggestions that will help. It's quite possible these feelings will subside on their own after a few visits, but if not, ask the doctor about prescribing an anti-anxiety medication to calm your nerves.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@tbi.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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