KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox She wasn't a host at her parents' party

Dear Annie: My parents recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, and my two sisters planned a party for them. They chose the date, location, food, decorations and guest list. I received an invitation, just like everyone else.
I rearranged my work schedule, had the children take time off from school and drove 150 miles to attend the party. I also bought a gift for my parents, something I thought would be memorable and personal. When I told my sister how nice the party was, she replied, "Glad you enjoyed it. You'll be getting a bill."
Am I obligated to pay this bill? My children said I should throw it in the garbage. I barely make enough to pay my own expenses. I certainly don't have the money for a party in which I had no involvement. Left Out in North Carolina
Dear Left Out: Since you were not told in advance that you were expected to contribute, nor did you have any say in deciding how much to spend, you are under no obligation to pay the bill. Don't wait until it arrives in the mail. Phone your sisters, and tell them you already gave a gift to your parents. Let them know the party was lovely, but you assumed you were a guest, not one of the hosts. If they thought otherwise, they should have notified you ahead of time and asked if you were interested in participating.
Dear Annie: Two years ago, my husband, age 48, wanted a career change. I was very supportive of his decision, but six jobs later, he still isn't working, and I don't think he is looking as hard as he should.
When I first met "Alfred," he was extremely cautious with his money. Now he uses his credit cards to buy cigarettes, booze and toys, and to pay the bills on his other credit cards. He has already charged over $30,000.
I have been paying all our household bills, including the mortgage. The year before Alfred quit his job, we remodeled our home, and I am still making payments. I have tried to discuss the situation with Alfred, but he just gets angry. What can I do to get him back on track? Sole Provider in Los Angeles
Dear Provider: Alfred sounds depressed. His life isn't working out the way he planned, he cannot find a job he enjoys, and he spends money in a vain attempt to cheer himself up. Meanwhile, you are stuck with the bills.
Alfred needs counseling and possibly medication to get out of this rut. Talk to his doctor, and ask him to make a referral -- and make sure Alfred follows through.
Dear Annie: I need some advice. I'm a 16-year-old boy, and there is a girl in my class I can't stop thinking about. I mean, I think about her all hours of the day.
I have asked her out twice, and each time, she tells me "yes." But when the time comes, she is always out with her parents or doing something else, and I can't reach her. I leave messages, but she never returns my calls.
I feel kind of foolish. I mean, this girl never says "no," and it's confusing. How can I get her to go out with me for real? I've asked my friends, and they say I should talk to her more, but she's always with a lot of girlfriends, and it's embarrassing to be the only guy in the crowd, especially when everybody knows my intentions.
So, should I give up? Really Confused in Texas
Dear Texas: Yes. She sounds like the original Girl Who Can't Say No. (That's a song, for those of you in the younger crowd.) She can't face disappointing you when you ask her out, but she obviously is not interested. Time to move on.
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