GAIL WHITE Leaving an abuser -- it's not as easy as it seems

"An act of domestic violence occurs every 15 seconds in Pennsylvania," says Janette Price, executive director of the Women's Shelter and Rape Crisis Center in Lawrence County.
"Every third day in Pennsylvania, someone dies as a result of domestic abuse."
For 20 years, the women's shelter in Lawrence County has been assisting victims of domestic violence.
"The public looks at this problem very unidimensionally" Price said. "You get hit. You leave. [But] There are so many factors that influence that decision."
What happens: Physical abuse is the outward manifestation of an inward pattern of emotional abuse. The emotional abuse is centered around the abuser's desire for power and control.
"Many women hear, 'If you would just ...'" Price explains. "When you hear it enough, you begin to believe it."
She has seen many women leave and return to an abusive partner seven or eight times.
Crosses all borders: "The type of women this happens to crosses all borders -- age, race, economic status," she says. "But studies have shown that women who have access to less than $1,000 a month are more likely to endure repeated abuse."
She is careful to define "access."
"A woman can live very well but she may not have true access to money," she said.
The women's shelter impresses upon a victim the understanding that she does not have to live in fear.
"If their barrier is something we can objectively change -- money, home, food, child care -- we can move them along to recovery," she said.
"If the barrier is subjective -- emotional dependency, a can't-live-without-him mentality -- it can be very difficult."
Shearon Moore is a caseworker for the Women's Shelter and Rape Crisis Center. As she counsels victims of domestic violence, she shares more than advice. She shares her own account of abuse.
Shearon was not always the strong, confident, happy woman she is today.
She was once a scared, insecure, downhearted victim of emotional and physical abuse.
Shearon's journey to recovery was a long and slow process.
She was able to change the direction of her life because of the help she received at the Lawrence County Women's Shelter.
"I like who I am," Shearon says confidently with a smile.
"Once I got educated, my goal was to educate," she says with passion. "If I can help just one somebody."
Five years into her "mission" to educate and help women who suffer from domestic violence, she is not only a counselor, she is an inspiration.
When she sees fear in the eyes of a physically abused woman who has come to the shelter, she tells her how she conquered her own battle with the horrors of physical abuse.
What she does: When she sees a woman ashamed, shy and too uncertain to look her in the eye, Shearon relates her story of overcoming the degrading sense of low self-esteem caused by emotional abuse.
"A lot of times, I don't tell them anything," she says, sharing her counseling advice. Listening can be great counsel.
Shearon knows -- because it worked for her.
At one very lonely, trying point during Shearon's recovery, she remembers saying, "I just ought to go back."
Her counselor responded simply, "Is that what you really want?"
Shearon knew the answer.
Today, Shearon asks that same question to scared, uncertain women who now sit across the desk from her.
She knows the answer in their hearts, as well.
She knows they can overcome the pain and fear of domestic violence.
And she knows that with time and healing, they too can stand victorious and say, "I like who I am."
gwhite@vindy.com