SUMMER MOVIES Will they sizzle or fizzle?

By MILAN PAURICH
VINDICATOR CORRESPONDENT
Since Hollywood makes most of its revenue during summertime, movies released between May and September are typically heavy on kid and teen-friendly popcorn fare.
If fall and winter are traditionally reserved for serious adult films with Oscar potential, summer's the time to chill out with cinematic theme park rides.
Think of the following, then, as an opinionated guide to the upcoming season's best bets and potential turkeys. (Since release dates are notoriously subject to change, better use a pencil when marking any of these down in your calendar.)
May 3
"Deuces Wild." In 1958 Brooklyn, a gang war erupts between the Deuces and their mortal enemies, the Vipers. This bloody coming-of-age nostalgia flick stars Brad Renfro, Stephen Dorff, Balthazar Getty, Matt Dillon, James Franco, and Frankie Muniz of "Malcolm in the Middle."
"Hollywood Ending." Woody Allen's latest casts him as a formerly hot filmmaker reduced to directing TV commercials who goes temporarily blind from anxiety after getting the chance to make another big movie. Tea Leoni, Debra Messing, Treat Williams and George Hamilton round out the cast. +
"Spider Man." When Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) is bitten by a genetically altered spider, he gains superhuman strength and the spider-like ability to cling to any surface. Sam ("The Evil Dead" trilogy) Raimi directs this comic book adventure which features Kirsten Dunst as gal pal Mary Jane and Willem Dafoe as Spidey's arch-nemesis, The Green Goblin. +

May 10
"The New Guy." High school nerd DJ Qualls ("Road Trip") becomes a Big Man on Campus thanks to jive-talking con man Eddie Griffin. Sony's press release calls their oft-delayed kegger comedy "a hilarious story about reinventing yourself." Why can't somebody invent a new teen movie plot? ^
"Unfaithful." Adrien ("Fatal Attraction") Lyne's high-gloss remake of the 1969 French masterpiece "La Femme Infidele" tells of a suburban couple (Richard Gere and Diane Lane, reuniting for the first time onscreen since 1984's "The Cotton Club") whose marriage goes dangerously awry when the wife indulges in an extramarital fling with a stranger (Olivier Martinez). +

May 16
"Star Wars: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones." Picking up 10 years after "Episode I" left off, George Lucas' latest space saga focuses on the growing romance between Amidalda (Natalie Portman) and Anakin (Hayden Christensen). If the widely disliked 1999 installment felt too much like a kid's movie, this one seems to be catering to the *NSync crowd. At least Jar Jar Binks' role is reduced to a cameo.

May 17
"About a Boy." Hugh Grant plays a womanizing cad who grows attached to the 12-year-old son of his latest conquest (Toni Collette). Adapted from the best-selling Nicholas ("High Fidelity") Hornsby novel, it was directed by American brother team Chris and Paul Weitz ("American Pie" and "Down to Earth").

May 24
"Enough." An abused housewife (Jennifer Lopez) discovers that her dream husband (Billy Campbell from TV's "Once and Again") isn't the man she thought he was. Fearing for her child's life, she decides the only way out of their marriage-from-hell is to kill him. Despite the surface similarities, this isn't a remake of Julia Roberts' 1991 hit "Sleeping With the Enemy."
"The Importance of Being Earnest." In 1890s England, two young gentlemen (Rupert Everett and Colin Firth) use the same pseudonym ("Earnest"); everything's hunky-dory until they both fall in love with women using identical names. Oliver Parker (who helmed another Oscar Wilde adaptation, 1999's "An Ideal Husband") directs this comedy of errors whose tony cast features Reese Witherspoon, Judi Dench, and Tom Wilkinson. +
"Insomnia." Brought in to investigate the murder of a young girl in a small Alaska town, celebrated cop Al Pacino gets blackmailed by the sadistic killer (Robin Williams), who witnessed him accidentally kill his partner. Another Oscar winner, Hilary Swank, provides distaff support in this psychological thriller from Chris ("Memento") Nolan. +
"Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron." Dreamworks 'toon (narrated by Matt Damon) about an untamed mustang named Spirit whose independence is jeopardized when he's captured by soldiers who want to train him for cavalry service. With long dialogue-less stretches and Bryan Adams songs, this will probably be closer to "Road to El Dorado" grosses than "Shrek" moola for the studio.
May 31
"The Sum of All Fears." When Arab terrorists threaten to blow up the Super Bowl, CIA director Morgan Freeman sends intrepid Deputy Director Ben Affleck to the rescue. Affleck takes over for Harrison Ford -- who himself replaced Alec Baldwin -- as Jack Ryan in the latest Tom Clancy thriller to make it to the big screen.
"Undercover Brother." A spoof of '70s blaxploitation flicks starring currently ubiquitous Eddie Griffin as Anton Jackson, the baddest dude in the 'hood. The motley supporting cast includes Doogie Howser (Neil Patrick Harris), James Brown (as himself), Billy Dee Williams, Dave Chappelle, and Denise Richards.
June 7
"Bad Company." From mega producer Jerry Bruckheimer ("Black Hawk Down") and director Joel Schumacher ("Tigerland") comes a buddy-action comedy featuring the unlikely pairing of Sir Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock as a CIA agent and the New Jersey ticket scalper he recruits. One guess who plays whom. +
"Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." Oscar-winning "Thema and Louise" scripter Callie Khouri's directorial debut looks like the chick flick of the season. Adapted from Rebecca Wells' best seller, it chronicles a group of Southern women over seven decades: the estrogen-rich cast includes Sandra Bullock, Ashley Judd, Ellen Burstyn and Maggie Smith.+
June 14
"The Bourne Identity." After washing ashore, bullet-riddled Matt Damon races to elude assasins and recover from amnesia. A frame of microfilm surgically implanted in his hip might hold some answers. Based on a Robert Ludlum novel, this espionage thriller was directed by Doug Liman in a major departure from his indie hits "Go" and "Swingers." +
"Scooby-Do." Hanna-Barbera's moldy cartoon series gets the live-action treatment in this self-described cross between "The Brady Bunch Movie" and "Ghostbusters." Look for the lame human stars (including real-life lovebirds Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar) to be effortlessly upstaged by the CGI Great Dane. Be afraid; be kind of afraid. ^
"Windtalkers." Native American soldiers who used their language to thwart Japanese translation attempts during World War II are the subject of "MI: 2" director John Woo's thoughtful battle flick. Pray that star Nicolas Cage doesn't do his Roberto Benigni imitation from "Captain Corelli's Mandolin," Cage's WW II movie from last year. +
June 21
"Juwanna Mann." A basketball star (Miguel A. Nunez Jr.) who got booted out of the NBA poses as a woman and joins the WNBA. This long-delayed urban sports comedy featuring Tommy Davidson and Vivica A. Fox sounds like something that Martin Lawrence passed on. Twice. ^
"Lilo and Stitch." Disney's animated tentpole flick for the summer sounds pretty low-key for The Mouse House. A 5-year-old Hawaiian girl adopts an unusual pet who is actually an extraterrestrial fugitive. Don't worry, mom and dad; it's actually a kid-friendly comedy.
"Minority Report." In the not-too-distant future, criminals are caught before committing crimes. When one officer in this special unit (Tom Cruise) is accused, he sets out to prove his innocence -- and to stop the crime before it can happen. Directed by Steven Spielberg and based on a short story by Philip K. Dick ("Blade Runner"), this promises to be summer's smartest blockbuster. The superb supporting cast features Colin Farrell ("Hart's War"), Samantha Morton ("Sweet and Lowdown"), and Max von Sydow. +

June 28
"Hey Arnold! The Movie." A big screen version of the popular Nickelodeon series about an 8-year-old city kid and his pals. Hey, it worked for the "Rugrats."
"Mr. Deeds." Remake of the Frank Capra comedy in which small-town guy Adam Sandler inherits a fortune, moves to the big city, and gets besieged by opportunists gunning for a piece of his pie. Such non-Sandler types as Winona Ryder and John Turturro costar. +

July 3
"Men in Black 2." Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones reunite as alien-seeking agents out to protect the earth from the scum of the universe. Lara Flynn Boyle plays a Kylothian monster disguised as a lingerie model who makes life tough for our boys. +
"The Powerpuff Girls Movie." Ever wonder why 'puff chicks Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the forces of evil? Me neither, but apparently this animated trio's feature film debut is going to tell us.

July 12
"Blue Crush." Two young women (Michelle Rodriguez from "The Fast and the Furious" and Kate Bosworth) working as hotel maids in Hawaii have nothing better to do than surf. They get so good at it that they enter an all-male surfing competition. Formerly known as "Surf Girls of Maui," this was directed by John Stockwell whose "crazy/beautiful" aimed a little higher on the teen movie food-chain last summer. ^
"The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course." Cable TV personality Steve Irwin (aka "The Crocodile Hunter") must save a crocodile who swallowed a top-secret satellite beacon from U.S. special agents. Crikey! I guess Paul Hogan was busy. ^
"Like Mike." The first starring vehicle for kiddie rapper Lil' Bow Wow is surely the most eagerly aniticpated movie of the season, right? I am soooo excited! Director John Schultz's last film "Drive Me Crazy" was primarily known for its Britney Spears' title tune. ^
"Reign of Fire." Rob Bowman (veteran of TV's "X Files") directs this special effects extravaganza about fire-breathing dragons who emerge from the earth, begin setting fire to everything, and quickly establish domination over the planet. Matthew McConaughey stars as a butt-kicking dragonslayer.
"The Road to Perdition." Oscar-winning director Sam Mendes' follow-up to "American Beauty" casts Tom Hanks as a hit man who makes things personal after his wife (Jennifer Jason-Leigh) and son (newcomer Tyler Hochlin) are murdered. Based on Max Allan Collins' graphic novel, this Depression-era morality tale features Paul Newman, Jude Law, and Anthony LaPaglia as Al Capone. +
July 19
"Eight-Legged Freaks." Poisonous spiders get exposed to noxious chemicals which causes them to grow to monumental proportions. Don't you just hate when that happens? Fledgling New Zealand writer/director Ellory Elloyem is rumored to be another Peter ("Lord of the Rings") Jackson. +
"Halloween: Resurrection." A group of Haddenfield teens win a contest to spend the night in Michael Meyer's old house. They think it's all fun and games until they start getting sliced-and-diced one by one. Features the requisite cameo by former Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis.
"K-19: The Widowmaker." True story of Russia's first nuclear submarine which suffered a reactor malfunction on its maiden voyage in 1961. The sub crew races to prevent an explosion which could ignite World War III. Kathryn ("Strange Days," "Point Break") Bigelow directed; the distinctly non-Russian Harrison Ford stars. +
Stuart Little 2. E.B. White's plucky little rodent (Michael J. Fox) journeys through Manhattan with a reluctant Snowball (Nathan Lane's scene-stealing cat) to rescue his new pal from a villainous Falcon. With the original director (Rob Minkoff) and cast (including Geena Davis and Jonathan Lipnicki) on board, quality control should be high for this sequel to the 1999 family blockbuster.

July 26
"Austin Powers in Goldmember." Austin (Mike Myers) returns to battle Dr. Evil and Fat Bastard (both also played by Myers) one more time. He also falls in love with Foxy Cleopatra (Beyonce Knowles) and makes a new enemy in the nefarious Goldmember (yep, Meyers again) whose plans for world domination involve time travel and kidnapping Austin's equally randy pop (Michael Caine). Look for cameos from Kevin Spacey, Gwyneth Paltrow, Danny DeVito, and Britney Spears. +
"The Country Bears." Ten-year-old Beary (voiced by Haley Joel Osment) runs off to trace his mammal roots when he realizes that he's different from his adopted human family. Along the way, he hooks up with The Country Bears Band and helps them save Nashville's Country Bear Hall from being demolished by a greedy banker (Christopher Walken). The first Disney movie to be inspired by a theme park attraction ("Haunted Mansion" and "Pirates of the Caribbean" are already in the works), it just might signal Armageddon. ^
August 2
"Full-Frontal." Oscar-winning "Traffic" director Steven Soderbergh shot this $2-million lark on digital video in just 18 days. A character-driven ensemble piece that follows a handful of characters (including Julia Roberts and David Duchovny) over a 24-hour period, don't expect this to duplicate the box-office success of Soderbergh and Roberts' previous collaborations, "Erin Brockovich" and "Ocean's 11." +
"Igby Goes Down." Seventeen-year-old Igby (Kieran Culkin) copes with mom's cancer and dad's insanity by pursuing relationships with older women like Claire Danes. Susan Sarandon and Bill Pullman play this modern-day Holden Caulfield's parents. Although described as a comedy in the press release, expect "American Beauty" instead of "American Pie." +
"Signs." A family living on a Pennsylvania farm discovers mysterious crop circles in their fields. Another spooky shocker from M. Night Shyamalan ("The Sixth Sense," "Unbreakable"), this one stars Mel Gibson instead of Shyamalan's usual muse, Bruce Willis. +
"XXX." Vin Diesel reunites with "Fast and the Furious" director Rob Cohen to play a former extreme sports athlete recruited by NSA Agent Samuel L. Jackson to become an undercover spy. As usual for this type of fare, the fate of the world lies in his hands.

August 7
"Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams." Robert Rodriguez brings the sleuthing Cortez family (Antonio Banderas, Carla Gugino, Alexa Vega, and Daryl Sabara) back for another high-octane adventure. Joining the cast is Ricardo Montalban as Grandpa Cortez who travels around on a flying wheelchair. But is it made of Corinthian leather?

August 9
"Bloodwork." Retired fed Clint Eastwood (who also directed) is hired by a woman to investigate the death of her sister. While on the case, he deducts that the murderer may be the same serial killer he tracked for years in the FBI. Written by Brian ("L.A. Confidential") Helgeland. +
"Swimfan." Two fine young actors who got their big breaks in Steven Soderbergh films (Jesse Bradford from "King of the Hill" and Erika Christensen, Michael Douglas' drug-addicted daughter in "Traffic") team for this high-school "Fatal Attraction" about a promising young athlete whose one-night stand with an overzealous "swimfan" results in sinister consequences.
August 16
"The Adventures of Pluto Nash." Fururistic action comedy from Ron ("City Slickers") Underwood about an outer space nightclub owner (Eddie Murphy) fighting to keep his business from falling into Mafia hands. Despite stellar support (Pam Grier, Peter Boyle, Randy Quaid, et al), this long-on-the-shelf item sounds suspiciously like last summer's lame "Osmosis Jones." ^
"Master of Disguise." The super-annoying Dana Carvey plays Italian waiter Pistachio Disguisey who inherits a secret power enabling him to masquerade as virtually anyone or anything. Naturally, this talent makes Pistachio the target of a criminal mastermind (Brent Spiner) who plots to steal the world's most valuable treasures. ^
"Serving Sara." Wacky screwball comedy in which process server Matthew Perry tries serving elusive female target Eizabeth Hurley. Directed by Reginald Hudlin ("House Party") and costarring funnyman Cedric the Entertainer and cult action hero Bruce Campbell.
"Simone." A down-and-out director (Al Pacino in a rare comedic role) reclaims his Tinseltown luster when the digitally-created star of his latest movie becomes the toast of the town. From Andrew Niccol, the brilliant New Zealand writer-director of 1997 cult favorite & quot;Gattaca. & quot;
August 21
"One-Hour Photo." Robin Williams plays a deranged photo lab employee who becomes obsessed with the perfect suburban family whose pictures he developed. Mork, we hardly knew ye!
August 23
"Drumline." The immensely talented Orlando Jones ("Evolution," "Bedazzled") finally gets to headline his own comedy; let's hope that it's worthy of him. Backing him up are Nick Cannon and Zoe Saldana who acted Britney Spears off the screen in February's "Crossroads."
"A Guy Thing." When Jason Lee wakes up in bed with Julia Stiles the morning after his bachelor party, he presumes that he must have cheated on fiance & eacute; Selma Blair. Many hijinks ensue as he tries covering up his apparent infidelity. This is director Chris Koch's slightly more adult follow-up to the Nickelodeon sleeper hit "Snow Days."
"Slap Her, She's French." French foreign exchange student Piper Perabo ("Coyote Ugly") comes to a small Texas town, befriends a classmate (newcomer Jane McGregor), then practically takes over her life. Directed by Melanie Mayron ("The Babysitter's Club"), this is being hyped as a potential sleeper.
"They." After witnessing a traumatic event, psychiatric grad student Julia (newcomer Laura Regan) comes to the realization that everything which scared her as a child might be real. And what's worse, it could be coming back to get her. Directed by Robert Harmon who knows a thing or two about terror from his 1986 cult hit "The Hitcher."

August 30
"Possession." Literary sleuths (Gwyneth Paltrow and Aaron Eckhart) unearth the amorous secret of two Victorian poets (Jeremy Northam and Jennifer Ehle), only to fall under a passionate spell themselves. A change of pace for normally dyspeptic director Neil ("Nurse Betty," "The Company of Men") LaBute. +
Also in August
"Jackass: The Movie." "Jackass" Johnny Knoxville takes his MTV cult show to the big screen. Hilarity, and spinal fractures, inevitably ensue.
"Love and a Bullet." Treach from Naughty by Nature plays a hit man who develops a conscience while staking out his new assignment -- the comely girlfriend of his boss.
+= Best Bets
^= Must to Avoid