Fox flunkies bumble, stumble

Last year, Major League Baseball owners accepted more cash than ever to give the Fox television network exclusive rights to all postseason games.
Here's hoping the owners are dancing with joy over their huge payday because shunning NBC and ESPN was about the worst thing baseball could do at a time when they are trying to stop an ratings erosion.
We haven't seen any ratings numbers, but we're guessing last week's telecasts will be among the lowest-watched playoff games since baseball went prime-time three decades ago.
The worst problem a baseball fan has with Fox is figuring out which channel the games are on.
One day, it's the main Fox channel (you know it as the home of "The Simpsons," "The X Files" and the NFL on Sundays). The next, it's on something called Fox Family Channel.
Rumor has it that another Fox channel called F/X would have televised a weekend game except that the Atlanta Braves swept the Houston Astros and eliminated the need.
And get this, next Sunday, because of Fox's commitment to the NFL, the American League Championship Series and National League Championship Series will be played at the same time.
Confusion: One game will be on the main Fox. You would think the other would be on Fox Family, but no, that would interrupt that channel's all-important "13 Days of Halloween" celebration.
So instead, the other championship series game will be televised by Fox Sports Network. We know those channels as Fox Sports Ohio (the Indians' cable-TV home) and Fox Sports Pittsburgh (home of the Pirates and Penguins).
Could a hater of baseball do a better job of hiding telecasts from devotees? We think not.
Bumbling booth: Then there are the Fox announcers. We have no quibble with the main team of Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. Sure, McCarver is a pompous know-it-all, but he's outlasted every baseball analyst to become the voice of the World Series.
Like it or not, McCarver has become what Tony Kubek was in the '70s -- baseball's national analyst.
We know many area baseball fans didn't care for NBC's Bob Costas or ESPN/NBC analyst Joe Morgan, but we want them back.
Today.
Fox's Josh Lewin and Rex Hudler are driving us crazy.
Lewin and Hudler covered the Indians-Mariners series. The ratings for the Indians' radio telecasts have to be skyrocketing.
For one thing, Lewin and Hudler don't know how to shut up.
In Game 2 last Thursday in Seattle, Lewin couldn't even keep his days straight. One second, he was referring to Tuesday's Game 1. The next, he was talking about "yesterday's Game 1."
Hudler's worse. He hasn't met a cliche he couldn't repeat again and again and again just so he has something to say.
Bad sign: We knew early on in Game 1 we were in the presence of someone who speaks before he thinks. That's when Hudler told us we were in "unchartered waters."
Uncharted, maybe.
Later, he actually took the time to explain to his audience what it means for a batter to take a pitch.
Mike Hegan has never been my favorite baseball analyst, but his voice on the radio was a soothing tonic after several innings of Hudler's motormouth.
We miss ESPN. We miss NBC.
Come back Jon Miller. We love Costas.
We're sorry we ever described NBC's Hannah Storm "as plastic as a Barbie doll."
We apologize for any time we ripped Morgan for overanalyzing a routine play. All is forgiven.
We've suffered enough.
Owners, give Fox a refund. Tell them they can still cover a division series and a championship series and the World Series.
But don't let them have exclusive rights to the postseason any more.
Baseball can't afford to drive away any more fans.
XTom Williams is a sportswriter for The Vindicator. Write him at williams@vindy.com.