Reality sets in during final year

I remember the day it hit me.
Leaning against the back wall of the gymnasium, I watched as my friends, only a year older, proudly walked forward to receive their diplomas.
The graduating seniors were excited about taking a new, very different step in their lives. Parents were crying tears of happiness, while faculty members smiled contentedly.
It was on this warm June evening that reality finally set in. Next year, I will be one of those receiving a diploma. I will be the one smiling with excitement. I will be the one hugging my family and relatives.
I am now a senior.
As pomp and circumstance filled the air, my mind wandered. The final year -- that long awaited senior year, when you say goodbye to those you know and chart your own path in the world, is here.
Familiar: Gone are the anxieties of what to expect in high school. It's all too familiar now. No more worrying about the big kids who are out to get you, or finding your classes or the cafeteria food.
No, the intricacies of the routine school day are just that, routine. Or maybe they aren't. Maybe it's that, as a senior, there are many more important things to focus on.
What do I want to do with my life? It's a question that is undoubtedly at the front of every senior's mind.
It's frightening that, by the end of the school year, I need to have a plan -- a plan that will guide me through the rest of my life.
At the age of 17, I realize that I need to make some decisions - decisions that will dictate my future.
Suddenly, I don't know so much.
Some of us will join the military, others will enter the workforce or trade school, but the majority will enroll in college.
College.
Where do I want to go? What do I want to major in? What do I want to be? What if I change my mind? The list of questions is endless. There seems to be many more questions than answers.
And yet before Jan. 1, I will have to sort through the growing stack of college applications, brochures, letters and pamphlets, decide where I want to apply, fill out the applications, respond to essay prompts, seek out teacher recommendations and request transcripts to plan the next four years, and ultimately, the rest of my life.
Sounds pretty daunting, doesn't it?
Uncertainty: Along with being a senior and going off to college is the uncertainty of the future.
In August 2002, I will be saying goodbye to all that I have known for the past 17 years. My parents, my brother, my friends, everyone will fade into the background as I move onward.
Familiar surroundings -- gone. The feeling of security -- gone.
But maybe I'm jumping the gun a bit. After all, my parents faced the same challenges and they lived to tell the story. Maybe I'm worrying about too much.
I still have one year left, which is quite a bit of time, and I intend to make the most of it.
I'm going to continue to seriously prepare for college and work to my fullest. I'm still going to participate in athletics and clubs, do volunteer service, hang out with my friends and have fun.
I'm going to live my senior year just like any other year. I'm going to make the best of my last year, realizing that I'll soon be moving on to the next phase of my life.
Who knows what lies ahead? But I can deal with it.
After all, I am a senior now.
XEd is a member of Spanish Club, Computer Club and the track, cross country and basketball teams at Hickory High School in Hermitage, Pa. Oh, he's also a senior.