Interview isn't all about you

Here's something funny that happened the other day. While practicing interview questions with a job-seeker, I noticed something was "off" in her answers. Everything seemed to be slanted the wrong way.
Suddenly I understood, and told her, "Beth, your answers are going in the wrong direction. Remember the focus of the interview: It's not about you."
Her startled expression made me realize how odd that sounded. "Well, who the heck is it about?" she asked. Without realizing it, we had snuck up on one of the cardinal rules of interviewing. Whether you're the candidate or the interviewer, the focus should always be on the other person.
At first, this invites an absurd image of two overly polite people waving each other through a doorway, a la Laurel and Hardy. "You first," says Stan. "No, I insist," asserts Ollie.
What to do: The correct way to focus on the other person in the interview differs slightly depending on which side of the desk you occupy. For the interviewer, it means asking questions that will provide insight into the candidate's character, or clarify how he or she would approach a job.
For a job-seeker, to focus on the other person is to provide the information the interviewer needs to make the hiring decision.
Here's a sample interview snippet to demonstrate the principle. I'll start with variations of a question the interviewer might ask.
A self-centered question: "We use Microsoft programs here. Can you make reports and spreadsheets with that software?"
Less self-centered: "Tell me about the software you can operate, and the projects you can use it for."
A better query: "I see from your r & eacute;sum & eacute; that you can use a variety of software. Tell me about the most challenging project you've completed and how you handled it."
Obviously, this interviewer needs someone who can use Microsoft programs to create reports and spreadsheets. It's likely both parties knew that before the interview started. That's why the first version of the question is poor.
The only likely answer is the one the interviewer knew from the candidate's r & eacute;sum & eacute;: "Yes." The second version of the question is stronger, but only the third version invites the candidate to delve deeper for details that matter.
The other side: Now for the candidate. Regardless of how the interviewer asks the question, it's up to the candidate to present a picture of himself or herself in the job. Here are two responses.
Self-centered: "I can use just about any software package. That's because I learn quickly. When a project is especially challenging, I break it into smaller steps and ask for help if I need it. I just make it my priority to get things done on time and to keep up with the changes in the software."
Less self-centered: "I really enjoy learning new software and keeping up with the changes. I know that will be important in your department because of the tight deadlines you have. One of the toughest projects I've worked on was a series of stockholder reports for an emergency meeting. The graphs had to be completely accurate but easy to understand, and the deadline was extremely tight.
"To make it work, I talked with one of my instructors at the tech school, and he tutored me over the phone on setting up the graphs. Then I worked with the accounting department to be sure they were accurate. I'm glad I learned how to do the complicated charts because I can see your department uses them a lot in your printed materials. I'll be able to do that for you."
In the self-centered version, the candidate gives the "right" information, but bores the socks off the interviewer. That's because it's all about the candidate and not about the job at hand. The second answer is much longer, but more relevant.
The trick is to stay focused on the interviewer's need, which is to get someone who can do the job. Not just any job, but this job.
If you are the candidate, you can do this easily by learning as much as possible about the position and relating your skills to the situation. Remember: It's not about you.
XAmy Lindgren, the owner of a career counseling firm in St. Paul, Minn., can be reached at alindgren@pioneerpress.com.