Feeling stressed by the approaching holidays? Here are some concrete suggestions for relief.

Feeling stressed by the approaching holidays? Here are some concrete suggestions for relief.
By SARAH A. CART
VINDICATOR CORRESPONDENT
Why does this time of year cause some people to stress out? Why does the thought of the holidays make others hyperventilate? The answer is the potent combination of traditions and expectations.
With a little bit of reevaluation and an alteration or two, your holidays (and the weeks leading up to them) can be relatively stress free.
Resources: First, realize that you have resources at your disposal. For this article, I relied on 18 years as a parent, advice from friends and a book by an expert: Dr. David D. Burns' "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy." You probably have your own to add.
Now, review your expectations. Are they reality-based? Or are you hoping to out-do some idealized movie-studio image of how holidays should be? Rather than demand perfection, determine to seek excellence. You'll be amazed at what joys the season brings you as a result.
Next, consider each tradition you are striving to maintain. Presumably each developed in part because of the enjoyment it brought. But if you don't enjoy a particular one, reevaluate it. Perhaps it can be updated. Let it evolve to celebrate the life you and your loved ones lead now.
Finding time: At this time of year, we send glad tidings of peace, love and joy. The best way to relief holiday stress is to save some peace, love and joy for yourself.
How? With one of the most precious gifts: time. You can give it away, and you can give it to yourself. Use it wisely in the coming weeks. Visit. Play with children. Enjoy a relaxing cup of tea. See a holiday show.
Take time to savor the season's smells wafting from the kitchen, the fireplace, scented candles or brisk winter air.
Listen to the holiday sounds: crackling fires, holiday music, geese on the wing, sleigh bells, children's laughter.
Celebrate the sights: sparkling ornaments, fresh greens and flowers, the wonder in the eyes of children.
As a friend recently observed, the joy of the holidays is found not in the gifts, but the company. Orchestrate a mix of the generations. Share magic with children. Take flowers to a convalescent home. Invite someone who lives alone to join your family for dinner.
Simplify: But how, you ask, am I going to be able to get everything done? Prioritize. Then simplify, simplify, simplify. Set reasonable limits on your gift-buying budget, on the tasks you set for yourself each day and on the length of your gift list. Minimize distractions. Don't let your attention be diverted in dribs and drabs from the things you've chosen as important to the spirit of the season.
Are there holiday tasks make that your blood pressure rise? Farm some of them out; consider leaving others undone. Break those remaining into smaller, more manageable pieces. Then invite someone to help you accomplish them.
Multitask: Sometimes two challenging tasks, when combined, become mutually solvable and entertaining. For example, resolving a child's boredom issues and wrapping the holiday gifts do not have to be mutually exclusive. After all, chores done in community can become celebrations unto themselves. Recognize and celebrate the connection between the process and the results.
When faced with a dilemma, be open to creative solutions. Have a rip in Grandma's antique lace tablecloth? It would make a gorgeous one-of-a-kind tree skirt. No fireplace? Hang stockings on the backs of chairs or on bedroom doorknobs.
Here's a checklist of do-ahead possibilities. Are you ...
An avid baker? Give yourself the gift of a few hours in the kitchen. Turn on some holiday music, then prepare a few batches of cookies and freeze them by the dozen. They'll be ready for cookie swaps or holiday programs at school or to package as gifts for neighbors and friends.
Helping Santa with a few children's toys labeled "some assembly required"? Pay the minimal fee to have it done at the store. Now. (They'll get backed up come mid-December.) The investment's worth it. It might even afford you a good night's sleep Dec. 24.
Overwhelmed at the pile of presents to be wrapped? Wrap and label as you go. That makes the process more enjoyable (especially with a little seasonal music playing in the background). Is wrapping gifts more of a chore than a joy for you? Then treat yourself to having them wrapped at the point of purchase.
Going to any special parties or worship services? Check now to see that your holiday wardrobe is clean, pressed and ready to go. If you have children, look their outfits over, too. Be sure everything fits and that all the pieces are there while you still have time to fix any oversight.
A parent with very young children? Buy extra diapers now. Running out of clean diapers is a hassle any time of the year; spare yourself the stress of running out over the holidays. While you're stocking up, be sure you have plenty of the food staples small children require.
Headed out of town with presents in tow? Consider shipping your gifts. That way you'll have less luggage to worry about. Also make arrangements now for house- or pet-sitters and mail and newspaper pickup.
Flying somewhere? Carry a change of clothes in your carry-on in case your checked baggage takes an unscheduled detour.
Hosting out-of-town guests? Compile a folder of area attractions. (The Sunday Vindicator and the front of the local phone book have all kinds of ideas.) Once your guests are in residence, treat yourself to a couple hours as a tourist and go along with them. Or help them plan their afternoon, then lend them a good map and send them on their way.
Nervous that your housekeeping isn't quite up to par? Distract your guests with photo albums and family pictures from celebrations past. Let them share stories and laughter as they weave new memories.
Cooking the holiday meal? Share responsibility for the menu. Ask different guests to provide different dishes. And/or work with recipes that can be prepared early and then frozen or stored away. In addition to easing the big day itself, this helps prevent an astronomical grocery bill in those final days before your guests arrive.
Planning to serve a roast? Avoid the last-minute gravy hassle. Prepare a miniature version a week ahead. Save the drippings. Slice and save the meat for sandwiches (freeze it, if you'd like). On Christmas day, you'll have drippings to prepare the gravy on your own schedule rather than having to wait until the roast is ready.
Responsible for Christmas dessert? Earn kudos that day by serving a rich and elegant dish that requires minimal last-minute effort. Traditional English plum pudding is available commercially, or you can make your own. It gets baked (actually, steamed), sometimes several weeks early so it can "ripen." To serve it, simply reheat briefly in a microwave, then flame it table-side with warm brandy or rum. Top each serving with hard sauce, whipped cream or a bit of vanilla ice cream.