COPING WITH REJECTION When life says 'no'

Local teens realize rejection is a part of life.
By VERONICA GORLEY
VINDICATOR STAFF WRITER
Rejected.
It's a buzz word.
A basketball ricocheting off the backboard is rejected; a kid whose offered hand is refused a slap is rejected; someone who asks a question that is unanswered is rejected.
It happens when you're not picked for the team, when you don't make the honor roll, when your friends don't call anymore, when you're turned down by your favorite college and when you can't find a date if your life depended upon it.
Local teen-agers realize rejection happens to everybody and that learning how to handle it is an important part of growing up.
In relationships: Steve Garstka, 16, said a girl he asked out agreed to go out with him, but then she dropped him two days later. The Austintown resident said this experience wasn't easy to get over and even hindered him from wanting to ask out other girls.
"It took a while because I really liked her," Steve said. "All my friends noticed I was unhappy."
On the other hand, Jaret Jackson, 15, of Youngstown said getting rejected does not cause a problem the next time he wants to ask out a girl.
"Usually I end up getting with them or being their friend or something," Jaret said.
Caroline Ferenchak of Youngstown said she hasn't really done anything that might cause rejection. She's "never done the asking" when it came to going out with guys.
"I'm shy," the 17-year-old explained. "I'm very shy. I try to stay away from that. I try to give them clues, but when it comes to the asking, it's up to them."
Besides her shyness, Caroline said, fear of rejection might also be a reason she doesn't ask guys out. But if she were rejected, she said, she would get over it quickly.
"I don't like to dwell on things very much," Caroline said.
Sometimes a hindrance: Unlike Caroline, Lindsay Janci and Shannon Villers, 19-year-olds from Austintown, had a lion's share of rejection stories between them.
"We were meeting our guys at the bar -- the guys we were kind of talking to -- and they bring girls," Janci said.
In another circumstance, Villers said both her boyfriend and Janci's dropped them within the same week and wouldn't go to the girls' senior prom, leaving Villers and Janci without dates.
"We asked a bunch of guys, and they said no," Villers said. "We had everything."
They said their experiences with rejection sometimes hinder them from pursuing other guys.
"It makes me feel bad," Janci said. "You know it's them, but it makes it feel like it's us."
Job hunt: Fifteen-year-old Dana Ramsell's experience with rejection occurred when she applied for her first job at a fast-food franchise.
"They said they didn't hire 15-year-olds, but two days later, they hired someone who was 15," the Garrettsville resident said bitterly.
Fortunately, Dana was able to get another job within a week, but she still isn't happy with what happened.
"I don't go [there] anymore," Dana said, laughing.
She said she didn't talk to anyone at the store about the job she didn't get but wonders if she should have. However, Dana did talk with her parents about it.
"If it happens again, if I tried to get another job and someone else gets hired that was the same age as me, I'd be really mad," Dana said.
"Right now, I really don't care. I'd get more angry if it happened when I'm older."