WEDDING Q & amp;A

Q: My sister and I have never been especially close. Now that I'm getting married, I, of course, want her to be in my wedding party, but I feel the spot of maid of honor should be reserved for my best friend. How do I tell her that she's not No. 1 without hurting her feelings?
A: Truth is, it will be difficult to break it to her without hurting her feelings. While you certainly don't have to ask your sister to be your maid of honor, to some degree people do expect brides to choose their siblings as their honor attendants. And if your sister is anticipating the role, she may feel slighted when it's not offered. Why not have two maids of honor? This way you can still have your best friend, and not hurt your sister's feelings. Today, more and more brides are splitting the honor role between two people whom they care about. And as an added bonus, it will lessen the planning pressure for your best friend.
Q: My mother says that when I moved in with my fiance I relinquished the right to wear white on my wedding day. Is this true?
A: In a word, no. It's not true. You're living in the era of Bridget Jones, not Hester Prynne. Once a symbol of celebration and affluence (since only a woman of means could afford to wear an easily soiled dress just once), the color white morphed into a symbol of purity (read: virginity) in Western weddings. That said, the majority of women these days wear white at their weddings regardless of the nature their relationships. If you're "living in sin" and want to wear white, do it. Tell your mom your new life begins today and you begin that life with a clean slate. The key is to do what feels right for you.
Q: We're having a small wedding. Do we have to invite Mr. Smith "and Guest"? One friend told me that if he's not seriously dating someone, I can just address the invitation to Mr. Smith and he'll know he's not supposed to invite someone. Is that true? What do I do if guests reply for two anyway?
A: Your friend is right; most guests will understand that without "and Guest" or another name on the invitation, it's meant for them alone. Especially if you're having a small wedding. Technically, you're never supposed to write "and Guest"; you should find out the significant other's name. Even so, you'll probably see a decent number of invitations addressed that way these days. What to do if some clueless souls reply for two? Call them up and explain that you're having an intimate wedding and unfortunately were not able to invite everyone with a guest. They should understand that.
Scripps Howard