A quick guide to writing thank-you letters
A generation ago, Laetitia Baldrige revised and expanded "The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette." The original version was published in 1952.
In her 1978 revision, Baldrige lamented, "It is sad that the world of instant communications has made us so lazy that we are losing the ability to communicate our real selves to each other on paper. It is easy to communicate information via computers, but the computer cannot convey the emotions of the heart." Somehow I doubt she would consider the advent of e-mail a reinvigoration of the written word.
Keepsakes: Baldrige defined letter writing as "the ultimate in human communication." She pointed out the "treasure trove" to be found in "the letters left to us by the great figures of the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries." One of the joys of a personal letter received via what the 21st-century terms "snail mail" is being able to tuck it away to be re-read and cherished another day.
According to Baldrige, the elements that should be present in thank-you notes include:
UA statement to the people being thanked ("Dear So-and-so");
UA clear indication of who is doing the thanking. The child alone? The child on behalf of his brothers and sisters? Only one person writes, but the thanks should be conveyed on behalf of everyone involved;
USomething specific and noteworthy about the gift or event (Is it rare? Useful? The result of a long search?);
UA remark about the giver's thoughtfulness; and finally,
UAn upbeat note at the end.
From my experience, encouraging a child through the process will be simpler if you:
USet aside a clean surface (a desk or a portion of the kitchen table, for example) where the child can work. Be sure the child can sit comfortably at and easily reach the writing surface;
UHave everything that's needed at the ready: stationery, envelopes, pens or sharpened pencils and erasers;
UMake a list of the people to be thanked and record the gifts received from each (the more neatly you write your list, the more easily the child will be able to work from it. It can indicate proper spelling and capitalization);
UIf the child has several notes to write, agree beforehand on a schedule of breaks as well as rewarding activities with which to fill those break times;
UDepending on the child's age, lend assistance as necessary to be sure envelopes are properly stuffed, addressed and stamped.
Sarah A. Cart