HO HO HO! SMOKY CHRISTMAS

HO HO HO! SMOKY CHRISTMAS
Chicago Tribune: Looking for a stocking stuffer for that special someone? You might find just the right gift at the corner convenience store, next to the festive red-and-green signs that say, "Season's Greetings from Marlboro Country."
That's right, the people of Philip Morris are offering up the perfect present for your loved ones this season: a special cigarette blended just for the holidays. The company that brought you Marlboro and Virginia Slims now offers "M," which you'll be able to find at the corner store in a mod-looking black box right up until the new year. Bring your ID and hurry on down. Supplies are limited.
If this sounds bizarre, you're probably under the age of 40. For the smokier part of the last century, people actually gave cigarettes to business and social acquaintances. Come Christmastime, the cigarette makers would emblazon their cartons with trees, reindeer and other decorations, or package them up in red-and-green boxes. One might have paired up a box with a nice bottle of scotch or some candy for the missus. Nothing said "I care" quite like a few smokes.
But the practice started to fade away during the 1970s, roughly the time people started to figure out that smoking tobacco isn't all that good for you. Although we didn't quit puffing cigarettes, we did quit gift-wrapping them.
Picky health freaks: Of course, now that the merry fun has returned, those picky health freaks will no doubt object. They'll complain this is just one more marketing ploy that lets the cigarette pushers feign innocence while still grabbing the attention of children. They're planning to ask the company to take the product off the shelves and dump the marketing plan. They're also contemplating an anti-M campaign of their own. Some people just can't get into the spirit.
Maybe that anti-M crusade will try to tell you what a lame gift a box of cigarettes is, compared with the stuff Philip Morris gives to its friends. The company's shopping list for friendly lawmakers tends to include things like tickets to the Kentucky Derby, NASCAR and the World Wrestling Federation Smackdown. Now those are treats anybody would like to find under the tree.
But the anti-smoking crusade should be grateful that Philip Morris isn't tapping the full marketing potential here. You won't be seeing slogans like "Light up your Hanukkah!" or "Ramadan's over; live it up!" And since people obviously don't look to Santa as a fitness role model anyway, the company could have trotted out a promotional poster that depicts the jolly old elf taking a nice, long drag as he sails through the sky.
Philip Morris is exercising restraint, especially given its penchant for weird juxtaposition -- such as the promotional literature posted on its Web site right next to links to health reports about the dangers of smoking.