GAIL WHITE Through her tears, cancer survivor sees hope

On May 11, Jane Stephens of Columbiana will join hundreds of cancer survivors in the first lap around the track at Firestone Park for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life.
It will be Jane's third walk with survivors. She is determined not to cry this time.
"You should be happy -- thrilled," she says, "and you are. But it brings back all you have been through."
It was July 8, 1998, when Jane, wife, mother of two and nurse, was diagnosed with breast cancer. The experience is one she would just as soon forget. But, like the millions of men, women and children who have faced the diagnosis of cancer, it is a journey that is life-changing and never to be forgotten.
& quot;You just don't think that it could possibly be cancer, & quot; Jane begins. For a month she had watched as puckering on the nipple of one of her breasts came and went, all the while checking for lumps and finding none. One morning, while she was putting on deodorant, that changed. She found a lump the size and shape of a & quot;Tylenol capsule. & quot;
Tests confirmed her fears. It was malignant. Denial had turned to fear.
Family's reaction: Her husband, Scott, gets tears in his eyes as he talks about his wife's struggle. & quot;I remember driving home from Pittsburgh the day Jane was diagnosed and laughing. I can't remember what we laughed about but I thought how odd it was that we were laughing at a time like this. & quot;
Telling the children wasn't easy. Matthew, now 15, is very stoic in his response to questions about his mom & quot;I pictured it as her having the flu. I knew she would be OK. & quot; He shifts in his seat and looks at his hands. Like the little train that could, his mantra seems to be & quot;I must be strong. I must be strong. & quot;
Cory, 12, is the exact opposite of his brother. He wears his heart on his sleeve. & quot;I was sad. I felt really bad. You hear about people getting cancer, but when its your mom, it means a whole lot. & quot;
Clearly adoring their mother, both boys say they appreciate spending time with Mom a lot more now.
Doctors decided that Jane should receive chemotherapy treatments to reduce the size of the lump before operating. & quot;The treatment seemed worse than the problem, & quot; Jane recalls thinking. & quot;All this because of a lump that didn't hurt. & quot;
With the start of chemotherapy, the fear had become overwhelming. & quot;I remember lying in bed holding each other, both of us crying, & quot; Scott recalls.
Jane continues, & quot;It takes a while, then you say, 'That's enough!' You just decide to carry on. & quot;
With the chemotherapy came the loss of hair. Scott says, & quot;I don't remember Jane looking bad. & quot; Cory recalls asking his mom to take her hat off. Her lack of hair didn't bother him. In fact, some of his friends from school thought his mom was pretty cool with her & quot;punk & quot; haircut.
& quot;Surgery was the easiest part, & quot; Jane recalls. After the surgery, Scott remembers an older gentleman from his church telling him, & quot;Just make sure she knows it's OK. & quot;
More bad news: Two days after surgery, a positive result of a lymph node biopsy meant four more chemo treatments. & quot;I'm mad and tired and ready to give up, & quot; Jane remembers saying. & quot;I don't want to be strong anymore. & quot;
But she was strong with the help of her family and her faith. Jane remembers telling a friend, & quot;You better start praying because I'm not going to make it through by myself. & quot; Her church made dinners for the family. Her sisters came and sat with her when the chemo made her sick. & quot;Without our church, our family and my sisters, I don't know how we would have made it through, & quot; Jane says.
As she turns the corner of the track, she will walk by the stands, filled with loved ones clapping. Inevitably, the tears will flow.
Across the track, in the opposite stands, she will see luminaries spelling out the word, "HOPE."
Through her tears, she will smile. That is how she made it through.
Hope is how all cancer survivors make it through.
To find out how you can be a part of a local Relay for Life, go to www.cancer.org.