SLIPPERY ROCK, PA. Expert urges teachers to be role models

The speaker said violent people often lack empathy and are impulsive.
By VIRGINIA ROSS
VINDICATOR CORRESPONDENT
SLIPPERY ROCK, Pa. -- One positive adult role model in a child's world is sometimes all it takes to offset a lifetime of negative experiences, a leading conflict resolution expert says.
"Often that role model is a teacher," said Thomas P. Delaney, a professor in the counselor education department at St. Bonaventure University near Buffalo, N.Y.
Delaney, who has participated in FBI crisis negotiations, presented the workshop "Violence Prevention in the Schools" to nearly 100 people Friday at Slippery Rock University.
The program was the first part of a two-part series.
Ed Jacobs, associate professor in counseling psychology and rehabilitation department at West Virginia University, Morgantown, W.Va., will present the second, all-day session, "Impact Therapy: A Creative Approach to Brief Therapy" at 9 a.m. April 27 in the University Union.
Delaney's audience included social workers, teachers, counselors and students preparing for careers in education, psychology, counseling and social services.
Important contact: He said teachers and school administrators need to realize the influence they can have over students.
"They need to take this role seriously, be willing to spend more time at school, more time with their students," he said. "Sometimes they can give students at school the attention and encouragement they're not getting at home."
He said there are several myths surrounding violent behavior, including the belief that most children who are abused become adults who abuse.
"There are so many factors that contribute to violent behavior. But sometimes, when that one person is willing to listen, to say they're with you, it can change everything."
Delaney said people who are violent see the world differently. He said violent people are impulsive, explosive, immature, easily provoked and lack a self-preservation instinct. He said they also lack empathy.
The differences: "Most of us have self-preservation at the core of our being," he said. "We have plans tonight, things to do, we don't want to die. At the core of a violent person typically is pride. They don't think about the future. They're willing to die to make their point."
Delaney said an individual's reaction to a violent person can often determine the outcome of a situation or confrontation.
"Know your own triggers, what sets you off and learn to keep your cool, keep control," he said. "Don't confront them. And never set your pride against their pride. Be willing to listen."
He said violent behavior is often learned from parents and the media. He said parents who hit their children or who carry guns are sending the message that it's OK to resolve conflicts with violence or force.
"You can't hit your kid and then tell them it's wrong for them to hit someone," he said. "Hitting stops unwanted behavior for a short time. Children adapt to it. It doesn't work in the long run."
Delaney added that children need to feel they can make mistakes, correct them and learn from their errors. And they need adults to understand and be available.
"Without a steady bond to a caring adult, a child is at risk for becoming hostile, difficult and hard to manage. Every teacher, every person, every adult has to know what's cooking. If they don't, that's when things get out of control."