Struthers family memorializes daughter with acts of kindness

By SARAH LEHR

slehr@vindy.com

STRUTHERS

Jolie Tatar was driving home from her stepdaughter’s color-guard competition, thinking about what she would cook for dinner.

Then her life changed forever.

“Two minutes later, I was standing over my daughter’s dead body on the side of the road,” Tatar said. “Basically, your heart and soul are gone.”

Police say a drunken driver collided with the family’s car on an interstate in Summerville, S.C., on March 26.

Tatar and her stepson, Jacob, survived, but Tatar’s daughter, Alivia “Livi” Watson, did not. Her stepdaughter was not in the vehicle.

The accident happened less than a month before Alivia’s 10th birthday.

Tatar said her daughter’s body seem unscathed, even though she was ejected from the car during the collision. When Tatar saw the paramedics trying to give Alivia CPR, she was confused and thought to herself, “But there’s nothing wrong with her.”

In the months since, Tatar has tried her best to keep busy. She says it baffles her when people tell her how strong she is.

“I don’t feel strong,” Tatar said. “I lost my whole life. What are my options? To not live or to go on for her. You have to learn to live. I’m not me anymore. A huge part of me is gone, and she took it with her.”

Tatar is now a member of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. To feel closer to Alivia, she has dyed her hair purple, Alivia’s favorite color, and she wears her daughter’s ashes in a necklace.

She’s also started a Facebook group, called “Livin’ for Livi.” The group encourages people to carry out small acts of kindness in Alivia’s name and then to share those stories online.

While Alivia was her only biological child, Tatar has a large extended family. She describes them as a vital source of support.

Although she lived with Alivia for the past six years in South Carolina, Tatar grew up in Struthers.

Alivia traveled frequently to the Youngstown area, and she loved being able to see snow.

Because Alivia loved bonfires, her family decided to donate a fire pit filled with treats to the auction at the Mount Carmel Festival in Youngstown this week, Tatar said.

There was also a “Livin’ for Livi” float at the Struthers Fourth of July parade.

Tatar hopes to move back to the Mahoning Valley. Her home in South Carolina has too many memories of Alivia. Every afternoon, she expects to see her daughter coming down the street on her bike.

“There’s nothing like losing a child,” Tatar said.

Tatar has noticed many people are hesitant about interacting with someone who is grieving. When people approach her, they seem cautious about bringing up Alivia. In actuality, Tatar says, she welcomes any chance to talk about her daughter.

“When people pass away, don’t be afraid to say their names,” Tatar said. “We all want to be remembered.”