Sunday, May 30, 2010
By Kathy Mitchell
and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: My wife sleeps with our 9-year-old daughter, “Alexis.” This started shortly after Alexis’ birth and continues to this day.
I have tried over the years to coax her back into our bedroom using a combination of the carrot and the stick, but nothing seems to work. I often tell her that sleeping with our child is a symbol of our apartness. Nonetheless, she has made it clear that she enjoys sleeping with our daughter and prefers it to sleeping with me.
Please publish my letter so my wife will see it and hopefully change her priorities.
Indy
Dear Indy: Some women use their children as an excuse to avoid the marital bed. The repercussions not only damage the marriage, but also the child. She needs to stop, and it will help if she understands and faces her reasons. Please get into counseling, preferably together, and work on this.
Dear Annie: A few years ago, my husband and I purchased a townhouse in Arizona and now spend every winter there. Between family and friends, we have quite a bit of company.
The problem is, there is a lot to do and see here, and everybody wants to do and see all there is. We have now seen most of the sights several times, and the cost of doing so runs into quite a bit of money.
We don’t want to be rude and send them alone, but neither are we interested in seeing things again and again. What is the right thing to do? Would it be OK to let them go without us?
To Go or Not To Go
Dear To Go: By all means. It is perfectly fine to tell your houseguests that they should enjoy their time on their own. Give them suggestions of what to see and how to get there, and then perhaps join them later for dinner.
Dear Annie: I feel compelled to write after reading the letter from “Confused in Illinois,” whose husband has started working out in the nude in front of their 12-year-old daughter. I realize there is probably nothing going on that is immoral, but as an educator and mother of three daughters, I am concerned.
Working out in the nude in front of your child is wrong. I would never even consider doing this in front of my own daughters. Why is he now so interested in the workout process, and why is the daughter only involved when nudity is a part of the equation? A small pair of shorts, even underwear, would not impede his movement.
The daughter needs to know this is not “normal” behavior. It is a form of exhibitionism, and she may have problems dealing with this in the future. Innocent or not, as parents, we have to make decisions that are in the best interests of our children.
Concerned Mother
Dear Concerned: You make an excellent point that if the nudity is making Mom uncomfortable, there could be an underlying reason, and she should not be reluctant to tell Dad to put some shorts on.
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