Wednesday, June 30, 2010
By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: I am a 14-year-old girl who suffers from ornithophobia, which is a fear of birds. I have researched how to overcome it. One website listed steps to follow, and I did all of them except the last one, which said to go to a place where there are birds and learn not to freak out. I have an opportunity to do this every day, but when the birds come close, I run away.
I don’t mind having this irrational fear, but my friends do. They constantly tell me it is stupid, and they are embarrassed to be around me when birds fly by. They have no idea what it feels like. I have tried to explain, but they roll their eyes.
I have talked to school counselors, my mother and other people, but nothing seems to help.
Help Needed
Dear Help: Ask your friends whether they would be as derisive if you were afraid of snakes or spiders. Look into the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (adaa.org) at 8730 Georgia Ave., Silver Spring, MD 20910.
Dear Annie: My older sister is 63 and has multiple medical problems that cause intense pain. Her doctors have told her to stop smoking and drinking, but she hasn’t been able to. She cannot work and recently became eligible for disability benefits, which puts her above the limit for receiving Medicaid but isn’t enough to cover her high medical bills. She has to wait another two years to get Medicare.
I have plenty of money and have been helping her out, but people tell me I am only enabling her to continue to smoke and drink. I cannot bring myself to do this. Is this a “tough love” situation?
Distressed Sister
Dear Distressed: Your sister could be depressed. It’s also possible her pain medication is not doing the job. She may be relying on other forms of self- medication to get through the day, so please suggest she talk to her doctor about this.
Are the drinking and the smoking the cause of her health problems? Determine how negatively her addictions are affecting her, as well as you, and consider whether pulling the rug out will help her in the long run.
Dear Annie: “Help” said her husband never closes cabinet doors and asked if anyone else had this problem. Yes. Big time.
Not only does my husband leave doors open, but he leaves the cap off the toothpaste and the top off the orange juice (so that it flies all over when I shake it), fails to close cheese packages, loaves of bread and cereal boxes, and leaves all the lights on. Last week, he even left the hot water running in the sink. I call this condition “failure to complete.”
Hamden, Conn.
Dear Hamden: Leaving the hot water running can be dangerous, as well as expensive. If your husband’s “failure” is getting worse, you might suggest he see a doctor just in case something more is going on.
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