Children keep the faith, and family, after parents die

McClatchy Newspapers

CHICAGO — Vania and Noemi Aguirre, the daughters of hardworking immigrants, were attending Harper College in Palatine, Ill., and dreaming of better futures when they witnessed a horrific car crash that shattered their lives.

The sisters lost more than their parents in the broken glass and mangled metal. Plans for undergraduate degrees and relatively uncomplicated lives were deferred as Vania Aguirre, 24, and Noemi Aguirre, 19, took on new responsibilities as surrogate parents for a younger brother and sister.

“I was the girl in the bubble who never had to work and got to do whatever I wanted to do and go to school,” Noemi Aguirre said. “My bubble got burst.”

The sisters say they continue to be haunted by memories of the crash. But what survived — the family’s faith and love for one another — keeps them going.

Vania and Noemi Aguirre got full-time jobs and earn enough money to keep the family, at least temporarily, in the home where they had lived with their parents. They remain active in an Elgin church and have learned to manage the mundane chores that come with running a household.

Grief never shows on their faces, friends said.

“I see them being strong, and I think I should do the same,” said Janie Dominguez, a family friend and church member whose father died seven years ago. “They’ve made me think that life keeps going on.”

Vania and Noemi Aguirre and their sister, now 14, were following in another car when their parents’ Saturn collided head-on with a Honda Civic that had veered into their lane on a Barrington Hills, Ill., road in September 2007. Their father and mother — Guillermo and Rafaela Aguirre — were pronounced dead at the scene, authorities said.

“Even though I’m older now, I lived with them,” Vania Aguirre said. “I was never by myself. Sometimes I feel scared because they’re not there.”

The parents had no life insurance or will, leaving their children, then 12 to 23, with nothing to pay the bills, including burial costs.

“It’s so expensive,” Vania Aguirre said. “People should make arrangements ... make sure their kids are protected because it’s really hard to be on your own.”

She and her sister worked with Palatine Assisting Through Hope (PATH), a nonprofit agency that helped them find lawyers, a grief counselor and better-paying jobs.

Noemi Aguirre, who still takes classes off and on at Harper, became an administrative assistant at a business that sells and services forklifts.

Vania Aguirre graduated from Harper, but instead of starting at the University of Illinois at Chicago as she had planned, she got a job in January 2008 selling insurance and doing office work for a State Farm agency. In addition to becoming a breadwinner, she said she needed to be close to home to care for Mara, the youngest sister.

Vania Aguirre had substantial savings to pay the cost of attending a university and suddenly that wasn’t an option, said PATH president Rich Tyack, who worked closely with the family.

“Now she has to worry about the kids, the other kids’ futures, and school and homework and all the things parents think about,” he said. “I don’t think too many people put in that situation would have been able to come out and land on their feet, although they have a long way to go.”

Their academic goals are on hold, but a chunk of the older sisters’ earnings still goes toward paying tuition.

Their brother, Elder, 17, is a junior at Heritage Academy, a Seventh-day Adventist private school in Monterey, Tenn., that costs about $6,000 a year in tuition and expenses. He works on campus and has earned scholarships to offset the cost.

Mara Aguirre plans to join her brother at the academy. The older sisters attended public schools in Palatine.

“We are letting them live the dream,” Noemi Aguirre said with a proud smile.

Vania Aguirre hopes to earn a bachelor’s degree at UIC when Mara leaves for high school.

The three-bedroom condo in Palatine — $1,600 a month in mortgage payments and $300 a month in association fees — has been the real strain, they said.

Vania Aguirre said her parents, who moved to the United States from Mexico almost nine years ago, paid too much for the home.

They were cooks at a Pizza Hut, and their father held a second job. Remaining in the condo means the children live paycheck to paycheck.

“It’s too much for us,” Vania Aguirre said. “We have to move even though we want to stay.”

Emotional loss and finances haven’t been the only struggles. One challenge was keeping up with the chores, the sisters said.

Vania Aguirre had never cooked before but tried at first to do all the housework. After she realized she couldn’t, it took awhile for the sisters to get organized. Eventually they made a cleaning chart and designated certain days of the week for grocery shopping, laundry and other chores.

In the kitchen, they developed a routine. Vania cooks, Mara bakes and Noemi does the dishes.

“We just couldn’t understand how Mom could work 14 hours and come home to clean and cook and go to the store and put the stuff away,” Noemi said.

Guillermo and Rafaela Aguirre were devout members of the Maranatha Elgin Hispanic Seventh-day Adventist Church and worked every day but Saturday. When religious services were over, the family always popped popcorn and watched a movie.

The family was on its way home from a church event at the time of the crash. On Illinois Highway 62 just west of Old Sutton Road, the Honda Civic crossed into the oncoming lane in a no-passing zone.

The driver, Timothy Swanson, 23, of Crystal Lake, Ill., was cited for six traffic violations, including improper overtaking on the left and following too closely. He pleaded guilty to three charges and paid a $560 fine, according to court records.

The other three citations were dismissed.

Investigators tried to bring more serious charges against Swanson but couldn’t, mainly because his blood-alcohol level wasn’t above Illinois’ legal limit of .08, said Barrington Hills Sgt. Ron Riedel.

The family remains active in the church. Just like their parents, the two older sisters are part of the church’s leadership.

Vania Aguirre organizes social activities for the church’s youth.

In January, she started Pathfinders, a children’s group similar to the Boy and Girl Scouts.

Noemi Aguirre leads the children’s ministry and participates in other youth activities.

A year and a half after the crash, the sisters still continue a ritual they learned from their parents.

After getting into their vehicle for a recent trip to Midway Airport to pick up their brother during a school break, they bowed their heads and prayed for safe travel.

“We are basically saying: ‘God, we’re in your hands. Whatever happens, it’s what you want,’” Vania Aguirre said. “It makes me feel safer.”