Saturday, September 27, 2008
Dear Annie: I have been married to a wonderful man for over 10 years. We have two young children. He is a great dad and good husband.
In the last two years, sex has become an issue. I’ve suggested date nights and other little things to keep intimacy alive. I listen to what my husband wants and needs. He doesn’t see a problem. Sometimes I think he is still here only because of the kids. Most of the time, I feel like a housekeeper.
A man I knew from my former job has slowly been coming into the picture. I always found him attractive, but he never interested me before. Lately, this guy has been throwing a lot of attention my way. I enjoy knowing he’s attracted to me, since my husband doesn’t seem to be. But if I let the flirtation go further and he rejects me, it will only confirm my feelings of inadequacy.
I love my husband, but feel torn. I’m scared that if this other man actually gives me what I’m longing for, it will mess up my children’s lives completely. Please help me decide what to do. Lost and Confused
Dear Lost: We know you are craving attention from your husband and this makes you susceptible to other men, but please work on your marriage before giving in to temptation. Your husband needs to see his doctor and specifically ask for his testosterone to be checked. If there is no physical problem, ask him to go with you for marriage counseling so you each can discuss your concerns and clear the air. Please do this before jumping from the frying pan into the fire.
Dear Annie: I’ve been seeing “Ted” for six months. At first, I thought his teasing was just a passing thing, but his comments have become demeaning and disrespectful.
For example, when I say I will put the groceries away, he says, “Do you know how?” He demeans the work I do, the friends I have, doesn’t like when my cell phone rings, etc. When he hears a song we grew up with, he says it must be from “your era,” even though he’s only months older than I. We are both in our mid-50s.
It is emotionally taxing to be with Ted, but he claims I’m overly sensitive and then packs on the guilt by saying he will stop talking altogether so I won’t be offended. He’s extremely controlling. It’s his way or no way. I have never before been spoken to like this and do not intend to put up with it from him. What can I do besides leave? Scrambled
Dear Scrambled: Nothing. There is no evidence in your letter that either of you cares deeply for the other. He sounds emotionally abusive. Walk away.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Disgusted in the Northeast,” whose friend flosses in public. A real friend would tell her how rude and disgusting that is. But the reason I’m writing is your response. Did I hear you right? A quick nose blow at a restaurant is acceptable? No. No. No.
Every time I take my wife out for dinner I seem to get a nose blower near me. You have the ones who take out a tissue and wave it like they are calling a truce before using it. Then there are the ones who hold it up by the corners and inspect it, and then keep it on the table next to their plate. And don’t forget everyone’s favorite — the foghorn blower.
Blowing your nose at a dinner table shows poor manners. If you need to blow your nose, get up and go to the bathroom. Never Blow in Connecticut
Dear Connecticut: Waving tissues and blowing germs all over the table is not what we meant. A “quick nose blow” is discreetly bringing a tissue or handkerchief to one’s nose in case of an oncoming drip or allergic reaction. There is no waving, inspecting or multiple blows. And there are absolutely no foghorns.
• E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net or write to: Annie’s Mailbox‚Ñ¢, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
Creators Syndicate