Sunday, September 21, 2008
Dear Annie: At 81, I thought I had my life pretty well under control, but now I have a real problem. One of my high-school acquaintances achieved considerable success as an actor. You would probably recognize his name.
Over the years, we have been in occasional contact, always discussing ideas and events as opposed to personal matters. I’ve never misrepresented my lifestyle, but neither have I ever had any reason to bring it up, so my friend knows nothing about our circumstances. After all these years, he and his wife will be passing through our town on their way to a vacation abroad. He writes that they would love to spend a few days with us in the old hometown, and of course, we would love to have them.
The gulf between our situations is vast. He’s long retired and well-to-do and socializes with celebrities. We live in a two-bedroom house. We have no savings and our only income is Social Security. By very careful budgeting, we’ve managed to stay afloat. How can we possibly host these people in a way that will not embarrass them (and us)? Panicked in New England
Dear Panicked: If your friend wanted four-star accommodations, he would have booked the Ritz. He’s looking to spend time with an old friend in relaxing surroundings. If you try too hard to impress him, neither of you will have a good time. You might give him a brief alert: “We’re thrilled to have you, Cary, but I hope you’re not expecting anything fancy. The accommodations are quite modest.” Otherwise, please treat them as you would any other guests. If your meals won’t stretch far enough, perhaps you can arrange to split some hosting duties with other hometown friends, which will not only give you some relief, but allow your guests to enjoy a change of scenery. Have fun.
Dear Annie: I have a wonderful friend who has become a complete cell phone addict. Last week I gave her a ride to the airport, which I was happy to do, but it was clearly a favor. All the way there, she ignored me and yakked on her cell phone to her grown children.
I was insulted, but figured if I complained, I would appear jealous of her relationship with her kids, of which she is quite proud. Don’t cell phone addicts realize they make the people they are with feel like a dime waiting on a dollar? What can I do? Cell Free
Dear Cell Free: People who are overly attached to their phones do not realize how rude they are, and in this instance, your friend may have been showing off a bit. You can tell her that it bothers you to be deliberately ignored and hope she will shape up. Or, you can simply stop whatever you are doing and pointedly but politely wait for her to finish her conversation. If that means parking the car, do it.
Dear Annie: Your answer to “Driving Me Crazy” was off the mark. The woman has nosy in-laws who read her calendar and check her mail.
“Driving” ought to keep a date book just for them and write in fake appointments like “meet crack dealer” and “cut mother-in-law’s brake lines.” She could also keep her mail envelopes and use them to hold notes for the snoops to find, like, “If you can read this note you are trespassing. Now beat it.”
You get the idea. My personal favorite would be, “Remember to buy poison to kill the in-laws.” It may not be so much fun to snoop after a few such notes are found. Brandon in Canada
Dear Brandon: Nor would it be much fun if the in-laws called the police, and they seem like the type. Your idea falls under the category of “wishful thinking” and is a little impractical. But we appreciate the laugh.
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