Clergy couples in Valley mix work, family and faith

By LINDA M. LINONIS

VINDICATOR RELIGION EDITOR

The Rev. Kathryn Adams didn’t have any divine guidance when it came to meeting someone. She did what so many others do — turned to friends.

That friend, also a minister, fixed her up with the Rev. Russ Adams. They were married in May 1988.

“I never thought of it as dating a minister. I was dating a woman,” the Rev. Mr. Adams said. “It wasn’t a deterrent to our relationship. We were comfortable with each other and comfortable in our profession.”

It was similar for the Revs. Connie and Timothy Mentzer, who will mark their 13th anniversary in September. They were introduced by mutual friends. “We never thought it was unusual because we knew other clergy couples,” the Rev. Mrs. Mentzer said.

Marriage in 1978 came before commitment to the ministry for the Revs. Peggy and Ash Welch, who were missionaries from 1985-88 in India. He answered the ministerial call in 1988, followed in 1993 by his wife. Both are graduates of Methodist Theological Seminary, Delaware, Ohio.

The Revs. Jennifer and Jeremiah Williamson wed May 27, 2006. Even before their relationship became serious, the Rev. Mrs. Williamson said part of their courses and conversations discussed clergy couples.

The clergy couples share a marital commitment and a vocation. While some 20-somethings are deciding what they want to do when they grow up, the Williamsons found their niche. The couple, both 26, display a passion for their calling. They met as students at Drew Theological School, Madison, N.J.

“We’re on a spiritual journey. As a couple, we understand why we’re excited about faith and the church,” the Rev. Mr. Williamson said.

The Revs. Mr. and Mrs. Welch worked in the fields of mental disabilities and hearing impaired. Though they had jobs that helped people, “God changed our calling,” Mr. Welch said. “I think it sets a good model for the congregation with a husband a wife who are committed to the love of Christ for the church.”

“We share common values and have different but complementary gifts,” Mrs. Welch added.

The Welches take a thoughtful approach to co-pastoring. They share a workspace and use their time efficiently by alternating weeks preaching sermons. They sometimes do dialogue sermons, a point and counterpoint presentation.

Mr. Welch credited his wife with “organizational and administrative skills” while Mrs. Welch said her husband has a “tremendous insight for the least, last and the lost.” Mr. Welch advocates mission work; Mrs. Welch’s strong suit is teaching, preaching and pastoral care.

Working apart

This is the first time the Mentzers, graduates of Trinity Lutheran Seminary in Columbus, have served in close proximity. Pastors are placed through the Northeastern Ohio Synod. “It’s matching up skills and needs of the congregation,” Mr. Mentzer said.

“Tim and I are clear, though, that we would not want to be in the same church,” Mrs. Mentzer said. “Work would always be brought home. And, our leadership styles differ.”

The Williamsons usually work with a peer group in the 40- to 60-year-old range. Because of their age, some assume they are youth ministers.

The Williamsons’ lifestyle differs from some in their 20-something age group. They’re not out bar hopping, but they do like movies and music. Another challenge is making friends outside the ministry.

“People sometimes treat you differently when they find out what you do,” Mrs. Williamson said, “and they’re apologizing for using certain language.”

“I think the social element is hard,” the Rev. Mrs. Adams said. “People sometimes keep us at a distance ... sometimes put us on a pedestal because we’re both ministers.”

“There are two extremes ... the people who are so excited because you’re both ministers, and others are uncomfortable. Few people are in the middle,” Mr. Adams said.

Having fun

The Mentzers sometimes take a light-hearted approach and have some fun when wearing their religious collars. “Some people assume he’s a priest, and I’ve had people ask me if I’m a nun,” Mrs. Mentzer said. Then they hold hands or kiss and leave onlookers wondering.

But the ministers take their positions seriously. Though working weekends and holidays is part of the job description, Mr. and Mrs. Adams agreed they never saw that as a drawback. “I followed the idea that if you have a job you like, you’ll never work a day in your life,” Mr. Adams said.

Family time

Family life hasn’t taken a back seat to their ministries, but instead has been enhanced by it. “We have relatively flexible schedules,” Mr. Adams said. “When the kids were younger, I was able to be a part of activities or be there when they came home from school.”

Their family comprises daughters, Sarah Hennessey, 22, a Youngstown State University student in her last semester, and Anna, 17, a junior at Canfield High School.

When their children were growing up, Mrs. Welch said she felt their schedules helped make them “better parents” because they could attend so many school activities. Their sons are Rasul “Russ,” 26, of Tiffin, and Vijay “Jay,” 21, a sophomore at Youngstown State University.

Though some people might wonder if they get tired of being together so much, Mrs. Welch said, “We find our own space and time. We love what we do ... so even when we’re apart, we feel close.”

The Mentzers have a 3-year-old son, Andrew. They cited flexible schedules as an asset because of their “very active” toddler and Labrador retriever puppy.

Personal time

The challenge of working at active churches is to find time together. The Williamsons said they have meetings on different nights. “Friday is our day off, so we try to go out to dinner and spend time together,” he said.

The Mentzers said each understands the demands of the calling. “During Lent, one of us is gone every night of the week,” she said. Though they have obligations with Lent and Christmas services, they also have flexibility of scheduling to spend quality time with their son.

On a recent Saturday night, the Welches hosted 12 guests for dinner, and pastoral duties arose. “I had an emergency baptism of a premature baby,” Mrs. Welch said. She went to the hospital as her husband continued preparations. After her return, he was called away concerning a funeral.

“We connect, coordinate and communicate — but communicating is the hardest,” Mrs. Welch said.

While flexibility is a plus, some clergy face job uncertainty. The Methodist bishop makes appointments, and being transferred is always a possibility. Mr. Adams has been at Western Reserve United Methodist Church for more than a decade. “In some ways, your fate is out of your hands,” he said.

Earnings

Denominations also differ on compensation. A Methodist minister starting out makes about $28,000 and also gets hospitalization, house allowance and pension. The Adamses agreed that monetary compensation wouldn’t have dissuaded them.

Mrs. Adams’ job on the YSU campus has had different demands than being a church pastor, but she’ll take on a new assignment in July as a part-time minister in the UM district.

The Mentzers said money was “never an issue” when deciding their work. They noted that a Lutheran minister starting out receives about $50,000 when salary, house and car allowance and pension are tallied.

When the Welches decided to pursue their vocations, they consulted their sons, just boys at the time, who only asked if they would have a house and food. Both had made good salaries in the secular world.

Mrs. Welch said, “We believed God would meet our needs.”

The Williamsons are at the start of their careers. “We’re on a tight budget,” she said. The two denominations have different ways of filling positions, so they face that as well. Mrs. Williamson said she knows she will be at the Canfield church for at least another year.

Different denominations

Dealing with a reassignment isn’t the only issue. Some share a Christian faith — just not the same one. Mr. Williamson, an Episcopalian, and his wife, a Methodist, agreed that the two denominations, both of Anglican heritage, were open to questions and diversity. That appealed to them.

Together they established Thinking Christians, a ministry for students at YSU. “It’s a place to ask questions and not be judged,” she said. “The discussions reveal many sides of the spectrum of opinions.”

A collaboration for the Williamsons has evolved. When Mr. Williamson was ordained in April, his wife said about 50 people from Canfield UMC attended. The congregations are wanting and willing to interact, Mrs. Williamson said. The two ministers also help each other in their efforts at their respective churches.

For the Adams family, a bonus is Mrs. Adams’ From Russia with Love trips for mission teams who visit orphanages and take supplies and gifts. She’s planning her 15th trip, and her husband has been on five. “Her project has opened another avenue for us as a couple and family,” Mr. Adams said.

linonis@vindy.com