When loved ones disappear

A woman's 24-year-old son disappeared in November 2005.
By MARY ELLEN PELLEGRINI
VINDICATOR CORRESPONDENT
Parents who have to bury their children face the most difficult goodbye of all.
"Having to let go of your own child is one of the hardest things a person can go through," said Sister Patricia Fesler, aftercare companion for Higgins-Reardon Funeral Homes in Austintown, Canfield and Poland. When that young person's departure leaves more questions than answers, the ending is especially painful.
Pat Marks of Girard found her expectations changed Nov. 21, 2005. Marks made what she expected to be a routine trip to the Twin Cities Airport to pick up her 24-year-old son, Daniel.
At the time, Marks was living in Duluth, Minn., where she had a teaching job, and Daniel was in Portland, Ore., studying environmental sciences at Portland State University.
That day Marks' sister, Mary, made a last-minute decision to drive her to the airport. "I told Mary to make one quick sweep of the airport, don't park because Daniel will be the first one off the plane. He travels light; he would come only with a backpack," said Marks. When her son didn't disembark, Marks summoned her sister and the two spent 45 minutes pacing the airport.
During her last conversation with Daniel on Oct. 23, 2005, he said he was planning to visit friends in San Francisco and do some climbing, hiking and camping in Yosemite National Park. Marks knew contact with her son would be limited for that time because of the terrain. However, she said that had happened before during Daniel's many hikes throughout the United States and other parts of the world. "He said, 'You won't hear from me, but I will be at the airport.'"
Reason for concern
Knowing that Daniel would call if he were delayed, Marks immediately became concerned. "We were going to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and [daughter/sister] Susan's wedding together." After the 45-minute wait, she called the airlines and was told Daniel never boarded his flight in San Francisco.
In the immediate hours after leaving the airport, Marks said, "We really weren't sure what to do except call family." A friend and law enforcement officer offered some advice on how to proceed. "There were so many things [about searching for a missing person] we just didn't know," Marks said.
After several days of trying to track Daniel's whereabouts, the family learned he had taken an unplanned trip to Hawaii to do some climbing there. Family members and friends spent three and a half weeks combing the island of Kauai where Daniel was last seen.
"We were expecting to go out there and find Daniel. We thought something unusual has happened and we will get to the bottom of it and find him," said Marks.
The trip to Kauai was in keeping with Daniel's adventurous, contemplative spirit. He loved nature and the challenge of climbing, said Marks. "He was very much an environmentalist, very concerned about pollution." Daniel's respect for the environment, however, made tracing him more difficult.
"Daniel always cleaned up after himself. There wouldn't be a trail of clutter to find him," Marks said. In checking with the International Hostel in Kapa'a where Daniel had stayed the night before his disappearance, the manager recounted Daniel's movements but said he left nothing behind.
Last sighting
Daniel was last seen at the second Kalaluau lookout above Waimea Canyon on the Pihea Trail in Kauai, Hawaii. Marks believes Daniel was trying to follow a route recommended by an acquaintance. "I think he went there believing his friend had done this and he could easily do it too. I don't think Daniel realized how dangerous it was," she said.
The area is marked by very steep cliffs, a 4,000-foot drop in some places and is heavily treed with no discernible landmarks. Because Daniel was a very organized and careful climber, the family finds it hard to believe he would take unnecessary risks, especially when hiking alone as he was in Kauai.
During their search of Kauai, the family followed countless sightings that appeared to be Daniel to no avail. One report from a Hawaiian doctor who believed he treated Daniel appeared to be especially hopeful but also proved to be false. "The island was swarming with young people who met Daniel's physical description [5 feet 8 inches, 130 pounds, brown hair, brown eyes, Caucasian]," said Marks.
Except for pinpointing two footprints on a trail were Daniel was last seen, no other physical clues to his whereabouts have been verified. The limited evidence recovered by professional trackers leaves open an infinite number of possibilities, Marks said. "It's difficult to face a tragedy, but in this case I don't know what happened to Daniel."
Having experienced every emotion possible, Marks said there were times she felt she would physically shut down. Her faith and friends along with an extremely supportive family carried her through an unimaginable ordeal. "Sending cards, having a Mass said for Daniel or telling me a story about Daniel does help," she said.
Marks returned to the Mahoning Valley last summer to be closer to family and a support group who can identify with Daniel.
What she's done
Another beneficial resource for Marks has been The National Center for Missing Adults, an organization she discovered after returning from Hawaii. The agency, based in Phoenix, Ariz., offers expert assistance from professionals trained in missing-persons cases, a support group for family members and information on how to proceed when a loved one disappears.
NCMA also posts pictures and profiles of missing adults on their Web site. "This is invaluable because you cannot search the entire world, but if you get the word out, somebody may recognize Daniel from a poster or description," Marks said.
Daniel's case remains open, and Marks maintains regular contact with the Kauai Police Department and events on the island.
This past October, a festival of techno music, which Daniel composed and played, was held in the area where Daniel stayed. Marks sent posters of Daniel to Kauai music shops, motorcycles shops and taxi drivers in the hopes a 2005 tourist would be returning. "I saw this festival as an opportunity to find somebody who may have talked with or seen Daniel," said Marks.
She periodically updates postings of Daniel's picture at hospitals, homeless shelters and other locations on Kauai. Because of the travel expense, Marks is hoping to find a person or organization on the island willing to distribute posters.
To help others cope with the pain of a missing or deceased child, Marks arranged for a Mass to be said at St. Rose Church in Girard at noon Feb. 4 in memory of local missing and deceased children. To learn more about The National Center for Missing Adults, visit their Web site at www.missingadults.org or call (800) 690-3463.