They don't have any right to choose their nephew's friends

Dear Annie: My nephew and his wife are friends with a couple my husband and I do not care to be around. This couple used to be friends with us, too, until we had a falling out. I don't feel comfortable in their presence, and my nephew promised he would never put us in that situation.
My nephew and his wife have always been very close to us. However, now that they are friends with our ex-friends, we don't seem to be important anymore. My nephew had a birthday party for one of his children, and his wife called us at 4:30 to invite us for cake and ice cream at 6. Even though it was a late invite, I was actually thinking of going until I found out the other couple would be there.
We have always spent every holiday, birthday and special occasion together, and I can't believe my nephew and his wife would actually put these people before me. This is causing a lot of strain. Any suggestions? Please do not ask me to become friends with those people again, because that truly is not an option. Unknown
Dear Unknown: Here's the rule: You do not get to decide who other people can be friends with. Your nephew and his wife like this couple, and they will continue to invite them for birthdays and other occasions. If you want to remain close to your nephew, don't force him to choose. You should make every effort to attend his family events and simply ignore the ex-friends. If you cannot bring yourself to do that, it becomes your choice to stay away, not his.
Dear Annie: A friend of mine, age 40, has experienced a horrible double tragedy. Her boyfriend, age 45, with whom she lived for almost five years, was killed by a drunk driver in a head-on accident.
Since they were not married, the oceanfront home they shared in California, which was in his name only, will be inherited by his mother and brothers. My friend will receive nothing. She not only lost her love, but will soon lose her beautiful home. They never planned for such a terrible situation.
Please alert your readers that if they are living with their significant other and choose not to marry, they need to make plans in case of an unforeseen death. This situation has devastated my friend. Be Prepared for the Unexpected
Dear Be Prepared: The legal institution of marriage, like it or not, can protect partners from just such financial tragedies. This is one of the reasons why gay couples lobby so hard for civil unions. In some states, couples living together for a specified number of years are recognized as common-law partners and given legal protections (and responsibilities). At the very least, property should be put in both names so that the surviving partner inherits. Thank you for taking the time to remind our readers that life does not come with guarantees.
Dear Annie: I really appreciated your response to the mother whose daughter came back from college and said she was a lesbian. The fact that you listed PFLAG as a support contact and information place was a great step toward helping parents with their unanswered questions.
For parents who are in a religious dilemma about homosexuality, they may want to contact the University Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (mccchurch.org) at P.O. Box 1374, Abilene, Texas 79604, to receive information on homosexuality and the Bible. Madison, Wis.
Dear Madison: Thank you for the useful resource. We also recommend Dignity (dignityusa.org), (800) 877-8797, an organization for Catholics with questions about homosexuality.
E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
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