Longtime friendship comforts fathers whose sons died in Iraq

Breakfast is now therapeutic for two men who have been meeting for 25 years.
STOW, Ohio (AP) -- A few days before Christmas, Larry Large and Jim Walsh met for breakfast at Bob Evans in Stow. Breakfast is something they've done, off and on, for 25 years.
They are truck drivers who have crossed paths often since the 1980s, beginning at Casey's restaurant in Stow, a popular spot where they could grab a meal and coffee before hitting the road.
They've shared stories about work, their time in the Army and Navy during the 1970s and their two sons, both of whom graduated from Cuyahoga Falls High School and joined the service.
Mood has changed
But their occasional breakfasts have become more deliberate these days, and the mood has changed.
Both men, in recent years, saw those sons off to one more tour in Iraq as the sons confided a haunting thought: They believed their luck had run out.
Neither son came home alive.
For Large and Walsh, breakfast is now therapeutic.
They finished a recent meal, climbed into their pickup trucks and drove to a small cemetery in a rolling, residential neighborhood a few blocks from Cuyahoga Falls General Hospital.
For several minutes, they stood at a large gravestone, marked with three sets of lipstick prints and engraved with the name "Bryan W. Large."
Somber visit
Sometime soon, the two men will go to Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C., to visit another grave -- that one bearing the name "Justin Walsh."
"There is absolutely nothing anybody can go through any worse than this," Jim Walsh said. "There can't be anything worse than the loss of a child."
Large agreed.
"It's kind of a group you don't want to belong to," he said. "It sucks to be in this club."
The emotions about the loss of a child and commitment to country flood to the surface for folks such as Large of Stow and Walsh of Mantua Township in Portage County.
The number killed in America's post-9/11 military action -- including in Afghanistan, Iraq and other locations -- stands at more than 3,000. About two dozen of those have roots in the Akron-Canton area.
Families are grieving in a way that few can comprehend.
Familiar with war
Large, a truck driver for Consolidated Personnel Corp., was the first of the two to lose his son.
He is 58, so he witnessed firsthand America's deep feelings about the Vietnam War. He served in the Navy in 1968-72, a period when the nation was sharply divided over war.
His son, Bryan W. Large, graduated from Cuyahoga Falls High School in 1992.
Bryan, single and the father of two, joined the Army Reserve as a medic in 2000, when the military was a career opportunity.
Then Sept. 11 happened.
He was committed enough to go to active duty and join the historic 82nd Airborne Division.
Large served one tour in Afghanistan and one in Iraq before he was notified that he would go again to Iraq.
Departing thoughts
When that word arrived, Larry Large traveled to Fort Bragg, N.C., to spend a few days with his son. The day Bryan was to depart, they ate lunch in Bryan's pickup truck -- a truck that Large now drives.
The elder Large snapped a picture before his son boarded the bus to leave Fort Bragg.
Larry Large recalled one of his son's departing thoughts: "He said, 'I don't have a good feeling."'
Larry Large still has the picture from that day, and one more -- one found in the camera of one of Bryan's military comrades.
On Oct. 3, 2005, Army Sgt. Bryan Large, 31, and three others stood in front of their humvee, smiling. A few hours later, three of the four were dead -- killed in a roadside bombing in Al Haqlaniyah, Iraq.
Jim Walsh heard the news of Bryan's death and was there for Larry Large. He attended calling hours and the funeral.
Walsh, a driver at Kolenz Transport, is eight years younger than his longtime friend.
He served in the Army in the 1970s with the 82nd Airborne, the same unit as Bryan Large.
Another tour
But beyond the 25 years of friendship with Large and the 82nd Airborne connection, Walsh faced his own issues during Bryan's funeral: His son, a Marine, had already been to Iraq twice, was in training to defuse bombs and the chance of another tour was high.
Justin Walsh joined the Marine Corps after graduating from Cuyahoga Falls High School in 2001. He was a few days from boot-camp graduation when terrorists struck on Sept. 11, 2001.
Less than a year after Bryan Large was buried, Justin Walsh was told he would be deployed to Iraq for the third time.
Walsh recalled one of the last conversations with his son.
"He told me, 'I'm not going to make it on this one. Something is going to get messed up. I've been too lucky."'
On Oct. 5, 2006, Sgt. Justin Walsh, 24, was defusing a bomb when a second bomb nearby detonated, leaving him critically wounded.
It happened one year and two days after Bryan Large was killed. Despite his grief, Larry Large was there for his old friend.
The two dads met at a Bob Evans restaurant in Streetsboro as Walsh waited for his son to be transported from overseas to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md.
Justin died at the hospital on Oct. 11.
There for each other
Large, of course, attended the calling hours and the funeral.
"He was there for me, just like I was there for his son," Walsh said.
The two fathers are at different stages in their grief.
Walsh is new to the pain of losing a son at war -- it has been only three months.
"You have your good days and you have your bad days," he said. "It's kind of early. Justin's unit is still in Iraq."
He is trying to come to grips with the enormity of his family's loss.
"I have my own blood in the ground in this country," he said. "We have a stake in this country. We spilled blood for this country."
Both fathers say it is now their mission to help others who will go through what they have experienced.
And they say they have been overwhelmed at the support from the community.
Large introduced Walsh to the area Gold Star Families, an informal group that meets monthly at the homes of parents who have lost someone in the war.
The two men continue to meet for coffee and breakfast to talk about their sons and the pain.
Grief remains
Although more than a year has passed for Large, the grief remains.
Every week, Large buys a red rose from Giant Eagle and leaves it on his son's grave.
Before Christmas, he added a garland.
"It keeps him warm," Large said as he and Walsh paused at his son's grave.
There's also a tiny pumpkin, an angel, an eagle and a plastic bag containing a red paratrooper beret -- left by one of Bryan's comrades -- and a St. Michael medal, the patron saint of paratroopers, left by 82nd Airborne veteran Jim Walsh.
And there are the deep expressions of love -- the three sets of lipstick prints.
Two are from Large's granddaughters -- Bryan's daughters -- Kylie Large, 11, and Devan Bandy, 15.
The source of the third, he said, is a mystery. Someone else is out there.
Large bent over and gently touched the garland over the grave. Then he felt the engraved image of his son on the stone, taken from the photo he snapped the day they shared lunch in the pickup truck.
The two fathers stood in silence for several minutes, then went their separate ways for the holidays.