His sloppy kissing tends to kill the mood

Dear Annie: I have a wonderful boyfriend, "Loren." We have an open, honest relationship, and the best part is we make each other laugh. We've been dating for several months, and I am more experienced than he is, but I've been patient, and things get better all the time.
There's just one issue. Loren is a bad, sloppy kisser. I thought things would improve, but they haven't. I've tried in subtle ways to tell him, but is this really something I can talk about? Is there some way to break it to him nicely? I feel like it should be a minor thing, but it tends to kill the mood for me, and the last thing I want to do is crush the guy. Any pointers? Slobbered On in Jersey
Dear Slobbered On: Better to speak up than suffer in silence and end the relationship. Tell Loren how much you enjoy being with him and how much you love kissing, and you'd like to show him some techniques that will enhance the experience for both of you. Teach him how to breathe through his nose so he doesn't slobber (tell him it makes the kiss last longer). When he shows improvement, be sure to respond accordingly. Your encouragement should help him be more receptive.
Dear Annie: I'm 18 years old and have a severe case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which makes me very uncomfortable at times, to say the least. I have medicine for it, but it doesn't always do the job. Going on dates has always been uncomfortable, because I often have to take frequent restroom breaks.
I have recently become closer to a boyfriend, and I feel I need to tell him about my problem, but I don't know how to bring it up. I'm scared he will find it too unappealing and end the relationship. Please help. Bloated in Boston
Dear Boston: If this boyfriend cares about you, IBS won't scare him away. You don't need to go into graphic detail about your symptoms. Simply explain that you are on medication for IBS and sometimes need frequent bathroom breaks. In the meantime, we hope you have made dietary changes as well. The most common triggers for IBS are alcohol, caffeine, carbonated drinks, dairy products and foods that are high in fat. You can chat with others who suffer from IBS through the IBS Self Help and Support Group (ibsgroup.org), 1440 Whalley Avenue, New Haven, CT 06515.
Dear Annie: I've never written to an advice column, but the letter from "John in Florida" hit too close to home. John said he knew his heavy drinking was very selfish and how much it would hurt his family if he died.
I am a lot like John. I am a very heavy drinker, and alcohol is the only thing that keeps me going. To be honest, I am hoping it will shorten my life. If it weren't for my family, I wouldn't make any pretense at living. They're all that matters to me.
My family doesn't know the extent of my drinking. I have a job, which I absolutely hate, but it provides insurance and a good income. I'm worried if I ever sought help it would make it hard for me to find another job or get insurance. I don't know what to do, so I do nothing. I am a very private person and the idea of group meetings like AA and being publicly identified as an alcoholic are abhorrent to me. Any other suggestions? Sara
Dear Sara: The fact that you are asking us for help means you are trying to find a way out. While all AA meetings are anonymous and confidential, the main objective is to get help. If you would be uncomfortable at a face-to-face meeting, here are some online resources: Alcoholics Anonymous (aa- intergroup.org); Smart Recovery (smartrecovery.org); and Women for Sobriety (womenforsobriety.org). You can find more resources through the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (samhsa.gov) at (800) 662-HELP (800-662-4357). Good luck.
Creators Syndicate
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