Friday, August 25, 2006
Parents should be honest with their kids without scarring them, a counselor says.
By SEAN BARRON
VINDICATOR CORRESPONDENT
YOUNGSTOWN -- Patricia Johnson was deeply touched when she recently overheard her 7-year-old daughter, Angela, thanking God for her young life and praying for the man who was shot to death Saturday at the former South High School stadium during a peewee football game.
Angela, a cheerleader for the Sons of Thunder youth football team, was on the field when 31-year-old Larry C. Jones of Youngstown was fatally wounded, her mother said.
"She doesn't understand why it happened, and I don't know how to answer that for her," Johnson said. "I'm thankful my daughter has a relationship with God."
Johnson added that since the shooting, she and her husband have continually talked to their daughter to try to get her to verbalize her feelings. Johnson also praised the team's coaches for acting quickly to get as many kids as possible out of harm's way.
Angela and her mother were among a few hundred parents, children, coaches and church members who attended a meeting and recovery session Thursday at New Bethel Baptist Church, 1507 Hillman St., on the city's South Side, which was set up to help them deal with their feelings associated with the shooting.
The meeting was designed to provide resources to affected families for counseling and guidance and to inform parents, youths and the community of measures being taken to ensure their safety during Volney Rogers Coaches Association football games.
Among those who spoke at the two-hour session were clergy, counselors and police officers who offered reassurance, prayers and coping methods.
Help with fear
In the days since the slaying occurred, children who have received counseling have reacted in a variety of ways. Kofee Lilly, a local counselor, said one little girl she worked with expressed general fear, but that each day the girl's fear is diminishing slightly. The girl derives comfort by sleeping with her mother, which is OK because the fear will pass and she will feel comfortable returning to her bedroom, Lilly noted.
Dawn Powell, a clinical social worker for Sharon Regional Health System's Hospital in Sharon, Pa., said she's also talked to parents, many of whom report their children have regressed and temporarily act immature and cling more to their parents -- all of which is normal after experiencing trauma. Many children tend to talk obsessively about the shooting or not at all, she added.
It's important for parents to be honest with their children without scarring them, she said.
Common symptoms
Patsy Perry, a social worker with Belmont Pines Hospital in Liberty, pointed out that typical symptoms aligned with trauma include cramps, headaches, dizziness, depression, anxiety and an inability to sleep. Some may appear right away, but in other cases signs of trouble may take days, weeks or months to show up, she cautioned.
One of the most important ways to help such a child is to get a structured routine established that's as typical as possible for the youngster, Perry noted.
A retired Youngstown police sergeant and two members of the Youngstown Police Department urged parents and kids to be vigilant and report any suspicious activities. The main reason drugs and other crimes escalate, sometimes to homicide, is because too many people prefer not to get involved, said Louis Averhart, who retired from the force.
Also speaking at the session was Genie Harris, commissioner of the Volney Rogers Youth Football League. Harris called Saturday's shooting "an isolated incident" and said the league is working closely with police.
"You have a [community] family who loves you," the Rev. Ken Simon, pastor of New Bethel, told the youngsters. "We will help you work through this and move on."
The Rev. Mr. Simon stressed that the shooting was not related to the game, and he urged people not to conclude that it's unsafe to attend such events in the city.
"It [the shooting] could have occurred anywhere," the Rev. Mr. Simon said. "We're trying to build up the community, not tear it down all the time."