Getting kids ready for school
Through my Web site (www.rosemond.com), a mother recently asked my opinion of teaching her 4-year-old son to read. The child had not expressed any specific interest in learning to read, but Mom noted that most of her friends were teaching their preschoolers to read, and she did not want her little one to "fall behind."
I pointed out that by the time children of similar ability reach the third grade, it is virtually impossible to distinguish those who came to kindergarten having already learned to read from those who did not even know their ABCs.
Unfortunately, many of today's moms are caught up in the race for having the first reader on the block because the new standard of good mothering has it that the best mom is the mom with the highest-achieving child. (Me thinks "women's liberation" was nothing more than the trading of one confine for another.) Research also finds that the earlier children are taught to read, the more likely it is they will develop a learning disability (probably due, in some measure, to not having been taught properly). That is not to say, however, that a child who asks to be taught to read should not be taught. Just make sure that the teaching is developmentally appropriate, based on phonics as opposed to "whole language," and that the instructor knows what he/she is doing.
A typical groupof first-graders
It is significant to note that 52 years ago, when I entered first grade in Charleston, S.C., I did not know my ABCs. Neither did most of the other 49 kids in my class, which was taught by one teacher. In that regard, we were a typical group of first-graders in 1952. Yet, at the end of that school year, we (referring now to my generation) were doing better than today's kids, many of whom come to kindergarten already reading. We weren't smarter than today's kids, mind you, but despite our lack of "book learning," we came to school better prepared. Quite simply, we were far, far better behaved, and it is good behavior, not a high IQ or pre-school reading skills, that defines the good student.
So I advised said 4-year-old's mom to not waste precious time teaching him to read; rather, to spend her energies more wisely by teaching him good manners, respect for authority and so on. Within days, a number of teachers had chimed in to affirm my advice.
Children who knowright from wrong
One wrote: "This first-grade teacher says a big Amen! to not teaching children to read before they begin first grade. I'd rather have children who know right from left and right from wrong, children who have learned how to pay attention to an adult and are eager to learn (which many kids who've been force-taught to read are not). Keep on telling it like it is!"
Another amplified upon the same theme: "Children who are exposed to books at an early age and are read to by their parents do very well. Those who have been instructed in reading by their parents often do poorly, especially if the child wasn't ready to learn.
"In addition to basic manners, I want kids who know how to tie their shoes, buckle and unbuckle their belts, enter a room quietly, who listen when I speak and patiently wait their turn. In the final analysis, those things are more important than already knowing how to read!"
In closing, a little ditty: Let children be carefree when they are small. Teach character, not characters, and help their manners grow tall. Read to them a lot and discipline them well, and they will do their best when rings the school bell.
XJohn Rosemond is a family psychologist. Questions of general interest may be sent to him at Affirmative Parenting, 1020 East 86th Street, Suite 26B, Indianapolis, IN 46240 and at his Web site: http://www.rosemond.com/.