"I was self-employed on the job. I would have had to carry my own health insurance. But I didn't

"I was self-employed on the job. I would have had to carry my own health insurance. But I didn't think I'd shoot myself with a nail, you know?"
Patrick Lawler
A construction worker who shot himself in the head with a nail gun -- an accident he didn't discover until he went to the dentist with a nagging toothache.
"They can list these speeds in watts or grams or, whaddya call 'em, megabytes -- I still won't get a ticket."
Pat Cullinane
A Dublin taxi driver who, like just about all drivers in Ireland, has a car with a speedometer principally in miles. Speed limit signs in the country are being switched from miles to kilometers, causing some confusion.