Speaker stresses role of friendships in emotional health

About 17 percent of Americans move every year.
By DENISE DICK
VINDICATOR TRUMBULL STAFF
WARREN -- An author who is also a therapist, stand-up comedian and corporate speaker believes a lack of close relationships can be blamed for much of society's woes.
Dr. Will Miller, who is also an ordained minister and holds four graduate degrees, was the third guest lecturer for the YWCA of Warren's Trumbull Town Hall Celebrity Series.
Miller, formerly television therapist on Nick at Nite of Nickelodeon television, spoke about his latest book, "Refrigerator Rights, Creating Connections and Restoring Relationships," Wednesday at W.D. Packard Music Hall.
The book's title refers to the number of people in one's life who are comfortable enough to come into your home and take something out of the refrigerator to eat or drink without asking.
Most Americans don't have many of those friendships, and that void exacerbates feelings of depression and anxiety, Miller said before his speech Wednesday. Most Americans depend on one other person, often a spouse, for that emotional sustenance.
That's not enough, Miller said.
"Women don't have enough other women in their lives who feel like sisters, and men don't have enough other men in their lives who feel like brothers," he said.
Too much reliance solely on each other for emotional support contributes to difficulties in many marriages, Miller said.
"Americans underestimate the importance of maintaining emotional health," he said.
Though some people may be prone to emotional problems, it's the role of other people in our lives to help keep those problems at bay, Miller said.
The problem
The problem is a combination of Americans' mobility and television. About 17 percent of Americans move each year. Many also spend a lot of free time in front of the television, getting involved in the lives of show characters rather than those of neighbors or friends.
After work and sleep, people divide what's left of their time between themselves and watching television.
"What opportunity do you give yourself to get to know the neighbors?" Miller asked.
Now a therapist at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Ind., Miller grew up in Brooklyn, one of seven children. Each of those siblings lives in a different state. When Miller started experiencing restlessness and moodiness himself, he ultimately attributed it to a lack of close relationships in his personal life.
He moved closer to his wife's family in West Lafayette, took up golf and became involved in church activities.
But he cautioned that people shouldn't force a bond. Bonding comes as a result of involving yourself in life activities and being in contact with people you see regularly.
This marks the 26th year for the Town Hall series. The next speaker is entertainer Ann Blyth on April 7.
denise_dick@vindy.com