Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Yank out the confetti, pull out the checkbook, groom Fido, and grab a calendar. Once, there were birthdays and anniversaries to chart. But then, someone invented Grandparents' Day and the floodgates were opened.
Now, there are more things to commemorate, observe, and be aware of than there are twins at Twins' Day. Organizations, companies, manufacturers, clubs and individuals are all clamoring for our attention.
Let's take this month, for example.
June is Turkey Lovers Month, Fireworks Safety Month, Adopt a Shelter Cat Month, Cancer from the Sun Month and International Men's Month.
It is Dairy Month, Perennial Gardening Month and Vision Research Month.
June is National Accordion Awareness Month, for heaven's sake. (People in leiderhosen have been celebrating National Accordion Awareness Month, and the official instrument of San Francisco, since 1989.)
June is also National Candy Month, National Fresh Fruit and Vegetable Month, and National Frozen Yogurt Month. It's National Iced Tea Month, National Rose Month, National Safety Month, and National Soul Food Month. It's Student Safety Month, Sports America Kids Month and Professional Wellness Month.
(Does it remind you a little bit of being on the telephone, while the television blares, the doorbell rings, the dog barks, and your kids and three of the neighbor's kids start asking you questions? Sure it does, but you're not through yet. The pizza delivery guy and a brass band are about to appear.)
Weeks and days
June is not only an important month, it also holds some important weeks ... like Stepparents Week from June 1 to 7. The second week includes Recreational Fishing and Boating Week, and National Headache Awareness Week. (Are you aware of a headache forming right now?)
The third week of June hosts National Flag Week, Meet-A-Mate Week and National Little League Baseball Week, in addition to National Men's Health Week, and one which will go over really well with your employer: Take Your Pet to Work Week.
"Hello, Mr. Smith, I'd like you to meet my boa."
Should you think your calendar is full already, get a bigger calendar, because June also has several days to observe. Flag Day, the anniversary of D-Day, National Tailors' Day, National Hunger Awareness Day, and National Trails Day are on the list. June also has U.N. World Environment Day and Children's Awareness Memorial Day.
It has National Cancer Survivors Day and Upsy Daisy Day, which, try as I might, I can't find the purpose of. It has National Taco Day (self-evident, I think), Smile Power Day, Sneak a Kiss Day, National Go Fly a Kite Day and Native American Citizenship Day.
June 23 is Let It Go Day, about which the creator www.wellcat.com suggests, "Whatever it is that's been grabbing your gut or your psyche, let it go. Just let it go. It'll be a better day afterward." (Can we let go of all these months, weeks and days?)
The list goes on
Did you celebrate Baby Boomers Recognition Day yesterday, and will you observe Celebrate Your Marriage Day on Saturday? If you're not married, keep in mind that June 27 is Decide to Be Married Day.
Other June days include Work@Home Father's Day, Dollars Against Diabetes Day, and Bunker Hill Day, which www.ehow.com suggests celebrating by reading "a detailed account of the battle, the events that led up to it, and the conflict that followed in Richard M. Ketchum's 'Decisive Day: The Battle for Bunker Hill.'"
Abused Woman and Children's Awareness, America's Kids, and Race Unity days also call June home. People are also asked to celebrate Nursing Assistant Day, Vegan World Day, UN/World Refugees Day and Husband Caregiver Day.
Some of these 54 (!) observances, of course, are worthy, but one must wonder at what point we reach saturation and can observe no more. Perhaps it is when we come to the one I have saved for last, June 28, National Columnists' Day.
As John Stossel says, give me a break!
murphy@vindy.com