Sunday, February 29, 2004
Dear Annie: The other day, I received a call from a collection agency saying I had given someone a bounced check. Since I watch my finances carefully and have never written a rubber check in my life, I was surprised. After some questioning, I found out that they weren't calling for me but for my neighbor, "Pearl." It turns out she had written a bad check at a local store and given them my phone number.
If our numbers were similar, I would pass this off as an innocent mistake, but that's not the case. It appears Pearl gave out my phone number on purpose. I managed to correct the situation with the creditor, and they said they would remove my number from their system. But now, I'm wondering what I can do to prevent her from doing this again.
Pearl used to come to my place all the time, asking to borrow things, begging for rides to the mall and other favors. After weeks of her constant requests, I finally told her I couldn't be her taxi service or grocery store. Now she's giving out my phone number. How can I make sure this doesn't become a habit? Neighbor Sue
Dear Neighbor Sue: Someday, Pearl is going to get into plenty of trouble. Without going through a lot of legal effort, you cannot prevent her from giving out your phone number, but you can let her know you are aware of it, which should make the temptation less appealing. Tell her about the call you received from the store, and inform her, quite clearly, that you do not want this to happen again.
Dear Annie: My adult son, "Danny," lives across the country. He is divorced and has a lovely little girl, although his ex-wife has custody. Three years ago, Danny was diagnosed with severe depression. He goes to a psychologist and is on medication. (I think the depression is the reason his wife left him.)
I am very worried about Danny. The last time he visited home, he was very down. In the past few months, he has rarely called. Yesterday, I phoned Danny, and he told me that he feels "crummy" and he "hates his job." He always has been very quiet and withdrawn, and I feel he is getting worse.
Should I offer to come out and visit him? My husband thinks Danny wouldn't want my interference, but the situation is very disturbing to me. What should I do? Concerned Mom
Dear Mom: Trust your intuition. If you feel Danny is in trouble, go see him. Severely depressed people do not always realize why they are so miserable and that help is available, so it is important you remind him. Suggest that Danny make an appointment with his psychologist, but if he won't, inform the psychologist yourself that your son's condition seems to be worsening. Danny may indeed be upset that you have interfered, but the alternative possibilities are far more frightening.
Dear Annie: I recently was hired as a secretary, and I have a question. When answering the phone, what is the proper length of time you can leave someone on hold before you check back and say it will be a few more minutes (or whatever)? I don't like to leave people hanging. Interested to Know in Texas
Dear Texas: Well, bless your heart for being courteous enough to know that it is rude to leave people on hold indefinitely. For business calls, check back within 30 seconds. (No one should be left on hold longer than one full minute without an explanation.) Let the caller know there will be an additional wait, and give the person the option of calling back, or offer to have the boss return the call.
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