Saturday, April 24, 2004
Dear Annie: I have been married to "Anthony" for five years. We dated in college, but lost touch. Fifteen years later, we ran into each other and started dating again. Anthony has been married twice before and has a child from each marriage.
Here's the problem: Anthony's first child was conceived while I was dating him in college. He cheated on me, and the other girl became pregnant. I was only 19 years old, and my world was devastated. It was the reason for our breakup, and I never got over it. As a result, I have no feelings for Anthony's children. As a matter of fact, I despise them because they remind me of what happened back then.
I didn't marry until I was 38, and this is my first marriage. I was so happy to marry Anthony, but now I've given up. Every time my husband talks about his children or calls them, I get very upset. I love kids, just not his. Stuck in West Virginia
Dear Stuck: Your dislike of Anthony's children is unwarranted and harmful to your marriage. It also indicates you never have gotten over the original breakup of your college days, nearly 25 years ago. You are smart enough to realize this is irrational. If you cannot learn to forgive Anthony for his previous transgressions, your marriage will be in serious trouble. Please make an appointment with a counselor and take the first step toward healing the tear in your heart. You need help.
Dear Annie: April is Child Abuse Prevention Month across the country, yet we must recognize and do something about child abuse every day, 365 days a year.
Whether you are an elected official, businessperson, community activist, professional working in the area of child maltreatment, teacher, parent or grandparent, we all can do something to end child abuse. We can volunteer our time, engage our employees, offer to help the new parent down the street and work to pass laws to better protect children. We can also make critically needed financial donations to prevention and treatment efforts for abused children and their families.
To find out more information on what you can do today about child abuse, go to www.kempe.org. Richard D. Krugman, M.D., Board Member, Kempe Children's Foundation, Dean, University of Colorado School of Medicine
Dear Dr. Krugman: Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Child abuse doesn't happen one month a year. It happens every day, in big cities and small towns, in families of every race, religion and financial status.
Here are two other organizations dedicated to preventing child abuse that we hope our readers will contact: Prevent Child Abuse America (preventchildabuse.org), 200 S. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60604-2404; and Childhelp USA (childhelpusa.org), 15757 N. 78th St., Scottsdale, Ariz. 85260.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from the man who complained about shirts that are so long he has to stuff them halfway down his legs. I have the opposite problem. I am over 6 feet tall, but my pant length is only 29 inches and my torso is much longer than average. I cannot keep a shirt tucked inside my pants without safety pins.
I'd love to walk into any store and buy clothes off the rack. Either I shop at specialty stores for tall men, or buy hip-hop clothes that I hope don't make me look too ridiculous. Next time your reader buys a shirt on sale and grumbles that it's too long, he should remember those who don't have that luxury. Tall in Yonkers, N.Y.
Dear Tall: Stores can't be expected to stock clothing for every size and shape. You are fortunate to find suitable shirts in tall men's shops. Some folks have to have their clothing custom designed. Be thankful for "small" blessings.
Creators Syndicate