Monday, October 20, 2003
Q: I would like to ask my two female cousins (with whom I am very close) to be included among the ushers. Is it OK to have female ushers in an otherwise traditional wedding? If so, should their dresses match the bridesmaids' dresses? What should I call them in the program?
A: Ushers are traditionally male, so if you are having an ultra-traditional wedding ceremony, you may want to find another job for your cousins. That said, there is nothing inherently wrong with the concept.
The duty of an usher is to seat guests and the job is not inherently male. So you can call your cousins just -- ushers -- that in your program or you can distinguish them by listing each as "female ushers" and "male ushers." You could even call them "usherettes."
Their outfits should coordinate with your wedding colors so that guests realize they are part of the entourage. Perhaps they can dress in a color similar to the bridesmaids, or simply wear black dresses to coordinate with the male ushers' tuxedos (or whatever color suits they may be wearing).
Keep in mind that some women might not feel comfortable performing this traditionally male duty. If so, you might suggest another role such as handing out programs, supervising the guest book or passing out bottles of bubbles for your exit.
Scripps Howard