Monday, January 6, 2003
Dear Annie: My in-laws came to visit last weekend. When I got up Monday morning to fix breakfast, I discovered a note saying they had left at 6 a.m. for home and thanking us for a wonderful weekend. They had mentioned nothing about leaving when we spoke to them the night before.
My husband was quite hurt by their abrupt departure. We will be moving across the country in a few months and most likely will not see his parents before we pack up the house. I honestly cannot understand why they would not say goodbye to their son.
My mother-in-law and I have had problems in the past, but I thought we were beyond it. Although we rarely communicate, I do not interfere with my in-laws' relationship with my husband. Unfortunately, his parents believe I am the reason he hasn't visited much in the past 13 years. This has always been his choice, not mine.
Should we be offended by their latest display of bad behavior? Too Late in the South
Dear Too Late: Perhaps your in-laws felt unwelcome in your home and thought it best to leave. It's also possible their early departure had nothing to do with you. The two of them may have had an argument or needed to get home sooner than originally anticipated.
Do not make an issue of this. Call your in-laws, and say how sorry you are to have missed saying goodbye. Tell them you enjoyed their visit and hope they will come see you in your new home.
Dear Annie: My husband, "Mitchell," and I have been married for five years. Mitchell is a huge sports fan, and whenever there is a game on television, he invites a bunch of his friends to come over and watch. These guys are loud and messy. Worse, after the game, the guys often leave to play catch at the park, and I am stuck cleaning up.
I have talked to Mitchell about the noise and the mess, and his friends have become a bit less rowdy. However, they still spill things all over my white carpet, and it costs a lot of money to clean the ground-in potato chips, ketchup spills and beer stains. What can I do to stop this? Hopeless in Medford, Ore.
Dear Medford: When guys get together to watch sports events on TV, they tend to eat, drink and yell at the referees. It's adolescent, but normal, behavior. Place a large, inexpensive area rug (or a sheet of plastic) between the sofa and the TV. While Mitchell is at the park, put your feet up and relax. Let him know the mess will wait until he returns and then you can clean up together.
Dear Annie: Last night, I went out to dinner with several of my closest female friends. We are in our early 40s, well-educated and have known one another for a quarter of a century.
While finishing up our coffee and dessert, I pulled out a small compact mirror and touched up my lipstick at the table. My friend "Patty" was totally aghast. She said it was poor manners to touch up one's makeup at the table.
Annie, I've been told you should not comb your hair or apply mascara at the table, but that it is acceptable to apply lipstick. Am I wrong? Laval, Quebec
Dear Want to Know: Touching up one's lipstick is perfectly OK, provided you do not turn it into a major production. Additional make-up or hair fixes are not permitted because such applications are unsanitary at the table. And distasteful.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@tbi.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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