Sunday, August 24, 2003
Dear Annie: I was friends with "Morgan" for 40 years. At least I thought he was my friend. We had been through thick and thin, but I now have nothing but contempt for this man.
I knew Morgan was a homosexual from the start of our friendship, and it didn't matter to me. However, a neighbor recently informed me that Morgan was bragging about a sexual encounter he'd had with my son when the boy was a teenager. My son was 14 then (he is 39 now), and he had gone to Morgan's with a friend. Morgan got them drunk and took advantage of them.
After hearing this, I confronted my son to find out the truth and asked why he never told me. He said it was a long time ago and he just "dealt with it." He has no interest in pressing charges after all these years.
I cannot stand to look at Morgan, and if we happen to be in the same room, it takes all my strength not to strangle him. We live in a small town and have many of the same friends. What should I do? Betrayed in the Midwest
Dear Betrayed: There is no reason for you to be civil to Morgan. When you see him, turn your back and walk away. If he asks why, tell him. His behavior was despicable. If your son isn't willing to press charges, is there anyone else who might? Morgan should not get away with this crime, and he may, in fact, still be molesting teenage boys, so the police should have this information. Meanwhile, write Morgan off your friendship list, and have as little contact with him as possible.
Dear Annie: I live in a mid-sized apartment complex that has two dumpsters for disposing of trash. I often see a filthy "dumpster diver" pawing through the garbage. He opens the sealed trash bags, pulls out the contents and strews junk all over the place.
Worried that this guy might be looking for credit card numbers, I called the police to complain. However, the police told me the only person who can file a complaint is the owner of the complex. I called the owner, but he acted very cavalier about it and said, "Oh, that's 'Bob' in 2B. He's furnished his whole apartment with junk from the dumpsters."
I told him the mess was unsightly and Bob might be looking for something other than junk to furnish his apartment, but the owner wagged his finger at me, as if I were a scolding schoolmarm making a big deal out of nothing. I'm tired of shredding all my personal papers. I don't have the money to move, or I would. Any ideas? Disgusted Renter in Colorado
Dear Disgusted: You should be shredding your personal papers anyway, because Bob might not be the only "dumpster diver" in the neighborhood. Bob must have major economic problems if he is willing to sort through coffee grounds and banana peels to find accent pieces for his home. Meanwhile, let your co-tenants know that their trash is being picked apart and they should take precautions.
Dear Annie: My wife and I are giving ourselves a 50th wedding anniversary party. We want to have "No gifts, please" printed on the invitations, but the kids say that is tacky. Now I'm told that the kids are planning a money tree, which strikes me as equally tacky. Who's right? Puzzled Pair from the Older Generation
Dear Puzzled: Talk about going from bad to worse. Ask your children to discreetly pass the word that you do not want gifts, and if friends insist, suggest a donation to charity in your name.
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