NFL Ex-player Tuaolo reveals he is gay

Samoan Esera Tuaolo, a former NFL defensive lineman, wants to be accepted for what he is.
NEW YORK (AP) -- On too many desperate nights in a life of lies as a gay player in the NFL, Esera Tuaolo drank himself to sleep, hoping he wouldn't wake up.
There were times when he sped away from nightclubs, hating the pretense -- the smiling Mr. Aloha, hugging and kissing the ladies in a grand show -- thinking as he drove crazily at 100 mph that he could end his torment so easily just by turning the wheel. Those days are over now that he's come out, telling his story, he says, "so I can live in my truth."
The mammoth, 34-year-old former defensive lineman wants people to accept him for who is and to accept his family in the suburbs of Minneapolis -- partner Mitchell Wherley and their 23-month-old twins, Mitchell and Michele, adopted from Tuaolo's native Samoa when they were a week old.
His quest
"It's a quest for happiness," he said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I want my children to know when they grow up that their father is comfortable with who he is and we don't have anything to hide. It's like a mountain was lifted off my shoulders when I came out. But then I jumped on the scale this morning and I'm still 310 pounds."
Tuaolo's coming out tour of TV shows, newspapers and magazines, two years after retiring from a nine-year career, is more than a personal liberation. He wants to "put a face on the gay football player, break stereotypes and make people talk." He encourages other gay athletes to reveal themselves when they're ready, though he cautions active NFL players to stay in the closet.
"I really don't think they should come out," he said. "I don't think the NFL is ready for an openly gay player."
Coming out is a tough, deeply personal decision that involves risks for any athlete, especially in team sports. Tuaolo feared that if he had done it while playing he would have been cut and blackballed or become a target for cheap shots on the field, from teammates and opponents.
None of his former teammates have called him since he came out a few days ago on HBO's "Real Sports." Sterling Sharpe, a teammate with Green Bay, told the show that if Tuaolo had come out while playing, "he would have been eaten alive and he would have been hated for it."
Virtually every part of society has accepted homosexuality but there is not one openly gay player in pro football, basketball, baseball or hockey. Nothing has changed in those sports even 25 years after Dave Kopay chronicled his life as a gay NFL running back in the 1960s and early '70s.
The way it is
As ridiculous and antiquated as it may seem, Tuaolo said, most coaches and players still believe that a gay player would jeopardize team unity and undermine the macho image of the gladiator.
"For those who are still playing in the NFL and struggling with their sexuality, I understand their pain and I understand why," Tuaolo said. "I never had any opportunity to think that I could come out."