KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox 'Steve' is looking for online romance

Dear Annie: I recently discovered that my boyfriend, "Steve," has been e-mailing women who have placed personal ads on the Internet. Steve claims he isn't looking for anyone else, but I found out that he has visited "looking-for-romance" chat rooms and live Webcam sites, and has checked out profiles of single women.
Steve constantly reassures me that he is not doing anything wrong, but this makes me uneasy. What do you think? Olympia, Wash.
Dear Olympia: Steve is playing the field while keeping you on the hook. If you don't trust him now, it is not going to get any better. Dump him, or you'll be writing back in six months with more of the same. Or worse.
Dear Annie: I have an old friend coming to visit from out of town. "Joe" has invited himself and his new wife (whom I do not know) to stay at my house. He has family here, which is his primary reason for coming, but apparently they are not willing to house him and his new bride during their entire stay.
I enjoy my solitude and do not entertain guests well. I have thrown out a few hints to this effect, but my pushy friend does not seem to get it, or he just doesn't care. Am I being rude and selfish by not wanting these uninvited guests to use my house as a hotel during their family visit? I do not want to lose his friendship. What is the best way to deal with it? No Vacancy in California
Dear No Vacancy: Get on the telephone, and tell Joe that you would love to see him and his new bride while they are in town, but you simply cannot put them up at your house. Offer to give them the names and phone numbers of some nearby motels, and extend an invitation for lunch or dinner. And don't back down.
Dear Annie: During my nightly walks, I often run into a woman who lives two blocks away. While we have only shared light conversation in passing, she invited my 3-year-old son and me to her son's birthday party next week.
I am planning a birthday party for my child in a month. It is going to be rather small, just a few friends and family. Am I obligated to invite this neighbor simply because she invited us to her son's birthday?
I feel awkward because I really don't know her, yet I don't want to offend her if she should happen to find out about our party. Rose in California
Dear Rose: It is not necessary for you to invite this woman and her son, since your party is only for close friends and relatives. However, it would be a nice gesture to inform her that you are having a small family party for your son, and if she'd like to drop by with her child, they would be welcome.
Dear Annie: Why does there have to be loud music everywhere I go? I recently was bombarded by this noise at a department store and made a point of talking to the manager about turning down the volume. He told me there was nothing he could do -- that it was controlled by the main office. He must be joking.
Is this music for the customers or for the workers? I'm not talking about innocuous "elevator music," Annie. It's hardcore rap and metal. I prefer peace and quiet when I shop so I can concentrate on what I'm looking for. Am I getting old? I'm 52 and can't be the only one who is tired of this audio assault. Westland, Mich.
Dear Mich.: Stores that cater to teenagers can be forgiven for using loud rap or rock music. Shops that have a wider customer base ought to have more sense. Inform the managers and/or owners of such places that you will no longer patronize their stores if they cannot make the atmosphere more hospitable. And mean it.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@tbi.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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