Praise: It's cheaper in volume

By JULIE HINDS
KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
Americans have a complicated relationship with compliments.
From our earliest roots as a democracy, we've embraced the ideal that everyone is created equal. Yet we live in a meritocracy where wealth, talent and fame are enjoyed in wildly uneven portions.
"Obviously, some people have a lot more stuff than other people," says Jerry Herron, director of American studies at Wayne State University. "Yes, we know everybody's not rewarded the same. So we try to make up for it in cosmetic ways, by giving out a mug."
Going overboard
And when we do make nice, we tend to go overboard. In Hollywood, the appetite for praise is such that a glut of awards shows now clogs the airwaves. On "American Idol," the TV show of the summer, Paula Abdul became famous for showering compliments, deserved or not.
For parents, the issue of when and how to praise is approaching what Michigan State University's Stephen Rachman calls "a Lake Wobegon scenario, where, as Garrison Keillor says, all children are above average."
Rachman, who heads MSU's American studies program, points to the current craze for passing out diplomas not just in high school, but in middle school and preschool, too.
Call it praise inflation, if you like.
Herron says he'd feel insulted if he was given a doodad with an inspirational message: "It's like when I renew my Newsweek subscription and they send me a 99-cent nylon carry-on bag."
Then again, even a generic kudo is sometimes better than nothing.
"None of us wants to be reduced to objects on a shelf, yet we wouldn't want to have no prizes whatsoever," says Rachman.