Gambling addict takes steps to recovery
The Youngstown woman is the only person in the state so far to enter the gambling addiction program.
By BOB JACKSON
VINDICATOR COURTHOUSE REPORTER
YOUNGSTOWN -- Esther remembers the night they turned the slots off at Mountaineer Park.
It's what opened her eyes to something that she'd known for a long time but had fought hard to deny. She was addicted to gambling.
"If they hadn't turned the slot machines off, I would not have left," said Esther, a 39-year-old black woman from Youngstown. "I felt like a junkie."
Esther is the only person so far to sign up for help through a new program at Meridian Services that offers treatment for people with both gambling and substance abuse addictions since it began June 1.
In fact, she's the only person in the state to do so.
The Ohio Department of Alcohol and Drug Addiction Services, in conjunction with the Ohio Lottery Commission, launched the program last year.
The agencies provided funding for four pilot programs in Mahoning, Athens, Hamilton and Lucas counties. Meridian Services, formerly Mahoning County Chemical Dependency Programs, offers the program here.
In denial
Timothy Bailey, a counselor at Meridian Services, said he's not surprised at the slow response because most gambling addicts don't admit they have a problem.
"Gamblers have a very rich fantasy life," Bailey said. "They just kind of treat reality like a necessary evil. They don't see gambling as a problem. They see gambling as the solution, so for them, it would be crazy to quit."
Esther said that's exactly what her life was like.
Her problem started when she was 16 and occasionally bought scratch-off lottery tickets.
"I won a few times. It felt good," she said.
The wins caused her to spend more money, often going on binges of buying lottery tickets. Sometimes she'd spend half her paycheck from her job as a mental health worker on tickets.
Some days she'd buy 50 tickets at a time, scratch them off and go back for more. She never won enough to recover what she'd spent.
"Not even close," she added.
Eventually, scratch-offs and other lottery games weren't enough to feed her craving. She started going to Mountaineer Park in Newell, W.Va., just across the Ohio River from East Liverpool.
She loved the excitement of Mountaineer, where gambling is legal. She loved the crowds, the noise, the people. Most of all, she loved the action.
"Going to Mountaineer was a place to escape the world and escape from myself," she said. "I would see other people hit it big and hope that my turn was coming."
Worsening debt
She blew thousands of dollars on gambling instead of paying her bills. She fell further into debt and deeper into frustration, hoping for one big score that would get her out of the hole.
From May to July of this year she racked up $10,000 in debt.
That's typical behavior for a gambling addict, Bailey said.
"They believe that their system, or their luck, or their magic, or whatever it is, is going to one day help them hit the big one," he said.
"Hitting a big one is what got me here," Esther said.
She remembers July 29, 2002, playing the slot machines at Mountaineer. She hit a couple of jackpots, won about $300, and figured she'd better collect her winnings and go home.
But she couldn't.
She kept pumping money into the machines -- winning some, losing some. Mostly winning. She ended up with about $600, which should have made her happy, but it didn't.
"I had set out to make myself feel better about myself, but I only felt worse," she said.
Turning point
Esther was horrified at her inability to walk away from the machines. The only reason she stopped was because the casino shut down for the night and the machines were turned off. That's when she finally admitted she had a serious problem and turned to a friend for help.
The friend had read a Vindicator story about the new program at Meridian Services and told her to check it out. A week later, she started.
It's been difficult for Esther to face her problem and admit that she can't be trusted with her money.
Part of the treatment program is appointment of a payee who handles the client's money for him or her, said spokeswoman Ellie Platt. Clients also are referred into a credit counseling program.
Esther now walks away from people selling raffle tickets, even if they're for a good cause, because she doesn't want to take a chance on getting hooked again.
She doesn't even look at lottery tickets plastered all over the walls of nearly every store she enters.
"I still want to gamble, but today I have hope," she said. "To know that I don't have to do this alone is the biggest help. That's where my strength comes from."
Esther said she hopes others -- especially other black people -- who have similar problems will read her story and decide to get help.
Bailey also said he hopes others come forward and check into the program. He said Mahoning County has one of the highest poverty rates in the state and also is No. 1 in lottery ticket sales.
bjackson@vindy.com