HURRICANES Hurricane's Wilfork looking ahead to some better things
In the last six months he has lost both his parents, but has the Fiesta Bowl and the birth of his child ahead.
PHOENIX (AP) -- The thoughts and tears come when Vince Wilfork is alone, usually while he eats, watches television or lies in bed. And the sadness of losing both parents within six months hits harder than any opponent on the football field.
The pain may never end, but the Miami defensive tackle expects it will get easier to handle, especially with so many good things ahead of him.
Wilfork has the national championship game against No. 2 Ohio State on Friday, the birth of his second child in February, his graduation next December and then a probable career in the NFL. He just wishes his parents could be around to share it all with him.
"It's not easy to do, but you have to look forward to things," Wilfork said. "If I dwell on my mother and my day all the time, I'll be a sad person, and I know they wouldn't want me to do that. ... They will be very, very, very missed, but I'll move on from here and make the best of it."
Football helps
Having football to fall back on helps.
Wilfork practiced with the top-ranked Hurricanes on Friday for the first time since his mother's death on Dec. 16.
He missed more than a week of practice, and coaches and teammates weren't sure he would return for the Fiesta Bowl. It would have been easy for him to stay home, and who would have blamed him?
But Wilfork never considered skipping the game. He knew all along he would be here. His parents wouldn't have it any other way.
"Football is my release," he said. "Everything that I have inside that's bad, I can come out here and make a couple of things happen that will make me happy and get me going. That's a good, positive thing for me to have football on my side."
Barbara Wilfork, 46, died five weeks after suffering a stroke Nov. 7. Her son missed the Tennessee game to be near her, then returned to school. Fortunately, he grew up about 60 miles north of Miami's campus, making it possible for him to visit her regularly in the hospital.
So before school, after practice, sometimes between studying videotape and working out, Wilfork would call to tell her he was coming. She would ask, how long? He would say half an hour, and when 30 minutes had passed, his cell phone would ring. "Where you at?" she'd ask. "I'll be there in five minutes," he said.
"When I got there, she would see me walking in that door and it would just brighten up her day with that big smile of hers," Wilfork said.
Father died in June
Her smile is one of the things he'll miss most. It had come to mean much more since his father, who "taught me everything I know," died in June from kidney failure as a result of diabetes.
Wilfork spent countless days by his father's hospital bedside, too, trying to understand all the machines and medications. David Wilfork, 48, died just days after asking for and receiving his son's national championship ring.
"He was everything to me. Everything," Wilfork said. "There wasn't a day that passed that I didn't talk to him. If I needed someone to talk to, I always turned to him."
Now Wilfork finds himself focused on the future:
UThe 6-foot-2, 350-pound sophomore expects to make a big impact against the Buckeyes. "If you see me out there playing against Ohio State, you'll be like, 'That's the guy who was out for numerous weeks without practicing?' Yeah. You won't tell a difference," he said.
UWilfork and his longtime girlfriend, Bianca, have a 5-year-old son, D'Andre, and a second child on the way. The baby girl, who will be named Destiny, is due Valentine's Day. "That's another day I can look forward to being a joyful day," he said. "I lost two, I already had one and I'm bringing another one in, so it's just like a makeup for my mother and day with my son and daughter."
UWilfork, who was forced to sit out the 2000 season because of test scores, also is on pace to graduate in December, and he promised both parents before they died that he'd get his degree. That means putting off the NFL for another year. "I know my mom and my dad would probably kill me if I did [leave school], so I'm not going to break my promise," he said.
UHe probably will be a first-round draft pick in 2004, especially when considering that he leads the Hurricanes with 15 tackles for losses and 29 quarterback hurries, despite missing a game and playing backup to Matt Walters and William Joseph. "I have a bright future ahead of me, and I can't let something like this go to waste," he said.
In the meantime, Wilfork plans to cope with the sadness by minimizing his time alone.
"You have to be strong, look for some friends to be around, and they'll just take you under their wings," he said. "I don't care how old you are or how young you are, you always can be put under a wing, somebody can always drag you along. My football team does a good job of that with me."