ANNIE'S MAILBOX Intrusive parents used their house during honeymoon

Dear Annie: While on our honeymoon, my new husband, "Fred," insisted that we give his parents a key to our house so they could take care of our dog. I pleaded with Fred not to do this because I knew his parents would not respect our privacy. Fred insisted, however, and I backed down.
Our honeymoon was a disaster. Every day we called his parents to check in, and they were never in their own home. They were always at our house, no matter what time of day. When we returned, we discovered they had gone through our drawers and closets, and rearranged my clothing. They also threw away several personal items, including things from my deceased mother and other belongings that could never be replaced. I felt as if I'd been robbed.
To prevent an exchange of nasty words, I wrote a letter to my in-laws, saying although they undoubtedly thought they were doing us a favor, they violated our privacy and I hoped nothing like that would happen again. My mother-in-law fired back an insulting letter saying that she did nothing wrong. When she asked Fred about my letter, he lied and said he had no idea I had written it.
Now his entire family hates me, and I do not feel welcome around them. Two of my former sisters-in-law divorced their husbands because of my mother-in-law's intrusiveness, but she won't accept the blame for any of their marital difficulties. Her sons say, "Let her do whatever she pleases." Are they right? Ohio
Dear Ohio: No. They are simply taking the easy road and avoiding a fight. The truth is, your mother-in-law's meddling will not break up your marriage, but your husband's lack of emotional support will. Insist that he put you first and show some backbone. And change your locks.
Dear Annie: This January, I will graduate summa cum laude, in the top five of my undergraduate class. Also, I am a member of three national and international honor societies. Six months ago, I began mailing resumes, eagerly awaiting the calls for interviews. So far, I have received nothing. In fact, three of my resumes have been mailed back to me. I could understand this lack of response if I were an inexperienced 21-year-old student. However, I am in my 30s and have spent most of the last 12 years raising my children.
I have had several family members review my resume, and they have assured me it sounds great. What is going on? Jobless Scholar in Maine
Dear Scholar: There could be any number of things "going on." The economy is slumping, and few companies are hiring; your area of study may not be what businesses are looking for; you may be overqualified or underqualified for available positions; companies may prefer to hire a younger person.
Many college graduates are having difficulty finding jobs. Do some research, and tailor your resume to the needs of individual companies. Contact an employment agency. Look for employment in related fields. Meanwhile, take any kind of job to keep you in the work force. Sweeping floors is better than sitting on your behind.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@tbi.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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