DESTINATION WEDDINGS Detailed planning is the only way to go when family, friends live miles apart
Exchanging marriage vows in an exotic setting may be appealing, but it takes research and patience.
SCRIPPS HOWARD
These days, many to-be-wed couples no longer live in the city or town where they grew up, and family and friends may be spread out across the map. Often, the solution to overcoming the miles is to have a destination wedding.
A destination wedding may mean travel for everyone to an exotic destination in the Caribbean or more simply a wedding in a place (such as a hometown) where the couple does not reside. Either way, if you're thinking of a long-distance wedding, there are a few key things to consider.
Extra effort
First, realize that planning a wedding is stressful enough as it is, and planning one from afar can be more arduous. You should ask yourself if you're willing to spend the extra time and money for any necessary travel and long-distance phone calls to iron out details. If you have local contacts, such as friends and family members, find out if they would be willing to give you a hand. Make sure there is a contact person or wedding coordinator at your location with whom you can work directly. Understand that you may have to relinquish control over certain issues and trust others to make important decisions for you.
Here's a guide to what you need to know to go the distance:
U Shop 'til you drop: Hopping in the car for a scan of a venue or casual interview of a vendor might be out of the question. Since you won't have easy access to your potential wedding vendors, it is imperative that you do a lot of research. Hopefully, you'll be making at least one to two trips to your wedding destination before the big day for interviews and planning purposes, so it is important to stay organized about who you've called and with whom you'd like to set up appointments. Begin your search by asking around for referrals. Local friends and family members, the Chamber of Commerce, newspaper classified sections and the phone book are all great resources. The Internet is also a research tool; often you can view venues or a vendor's stats, portfolios and press kits. If you've already chosen one vendor, ask him or her for recommendations. When vendors know and respect one another, they often work efficiently together as a team. When speaking with potential vendors, always ask them for references and ask whether they can send you pictures of their work.
U Quality time: You should take at least two trips to your wedding destination. Not only will these excursions give you the opportunity to interview and meet with vendors, they'll improve your chances of getting exactly what you want on your wedding day. During your short visit, you won't have a spare moment to squander, so create a schedule of what needs to be accomplished during your stay, and a comprehensive list of phone numbers and addresses. Make your appointments in advance. If traveling to your wedding city beforehand is unfeasible, you'll have to rely solely on references and referrals. Plan on arriving no later than three to five days before the big day to meet with wedding vendors, tie up loose ends and acquire your marriage license (double check the restrictions for marriage licenses well in advance as they can vary from state to state and country to country). Arriving a week before the wedding also allows you to prepare before your out-of-town guests arrive.
U Helping hand: If possible, hire a wedding planner in your chosen destination. Not only are planners an indispensable resource for wedding venues and vendors, they most likely know the place like the backs of their hands. If you'll be traveling to your wedding location beforehand, set up appointments with a variety of planners for your first visit. It is imperative that you choose someone who understands the style you're trying to achieve, since they'll most likely be handling most of the planning responsibilities. When speaking with a potential planner, ask him or her if you can speak with one of their past long-distance brides -- a great way to get a first-hand account of a coordinator's communication skills and planning abilities. If you can't afford a full-time wedding coordinator, consider using one on an hourly basis.
U Home front: Keep in mind that there is plenty that can be done from home: research your wedding gown, buy your favors, decide on specific flowers, choose your wedding and color schemes. Invitations and wedding programs can also be ordered from home. Have your caterer fax or e-mail you menu options and spend an evening with your honey picking out your favorites and tasting potential wedding day wines.
U Send-off: At least one week before the big day, ship your wedding gear (favors, gifts, programs, etc.) to your city -- including your wedding gown -- via a shipping method that allows for the tracking of packages, such as FedEx, Airborne Express or UPS. It's much safer to ship them ahead rather than take the chance that your airline may lose your baggage on the way over. If your bridal salon won't ship your gown for you, place the gown in a sturdy suitcase or double-walled box (available at specialty shipping outlets) and pack it well with tissue paper.