KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox 'Victor's' new job is not working out for her

Dear Annie: I am married to "Victor," a good man. I have two children from a previous marriage, and Victor has three, one of whom lives with us. Victor recently started a new job that requires him to travel out of town five days a week for the next year. Consequently, my children have little contact with their stepfather. My stepson has no contact with his mother, either, so I am the sole parent for all of them.
When Victor travels, he stays in a hotel and does business in restaurants and bars. I stay on the homefront, working full time and taking care of the kids, driving them back and forth to school, sports, activities, friends, and so on. My car averages 300 miles a week, and I have no time for myself.
Victor calls from the road only when he is walking from his hotel to a restaurant or bar, and our conversations are too short. How can I make him understand that even though he is out of town, he still has a responsibility to his family? I want him to be more involved in our lives, but he doesn't get it.
I think Victor is being selfish. I suggested counseling, but he's never around to attend a session. I'm in the process of looking for a therapist who can see us on Saturdays. Quite honestly, I'm ready to walk. Help in Indianapolis
Dear Indianapolis: You sound frazzled and overwhelmed. Obviously, you did not plan to be a single parent. However, you must be realistic. How much time do you expect Victor to devote to his family when his job takes him out of town so often? Can you endure it for the next 12 months? Do you want him to quit? Can you get some help at home?
Seeing a counselor is an excellent idea, and you should be able to do it on Saturdays so Victor can be there. You both need to figure out how far each of you is willing to compromise.
Dear Annie: I am in seventh grade, and I have a crush on "Jimmy," who is a ninth-grader. Jimmy likes me, too, but it's hard for us to get together. The only way we can see each other is if his sister, "Cassie," who is in my grade, has me over to her house. I don't get along with Cassie very well. In fact, I am only friends with her so I can see her brother. I feel bad about this, but I don't know what else to do. Lately, when I ask Cassie if I can come over, she makes excuses. I'm getting impatient. What should I do? Lovesick in Kansas
Dear Lovesick: Cassie has figured out that you are using her, and she wants no part of it. If you want to be friends with Jimmy, fine, but anything more will have to wait until you are old enough to see him without sneaking around. Cool it.
Dear Annie: I live in a nice area where there are lots of young children. Since school started, I have had dozens of kids at my door, selling candy and other items to raise money. Not one of these young children had an adult escort. When I asked one little boy where his parents were, he said they dropped him off because they thought the neighborhood "looked nice."
How can parents allow a child to go into any neighborhood unescorted? These children are carrying large amounts of visible cash, and they are often invited inside someone's home to fill out order sheets. Don't parents realize how dangerous this can be? Could Be Any Person in Any City
Dear Any Person: Parents should know better in this day and age not to let young children knock on strangers' doors. No matter how "nice" a neighborhood seems, it is no guarantee that your child will be safe. Thanks for the red alert.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@attbi.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Creators Syndicate