When is home alone OK?

The answer varies based on a number of factors.
By Jackie Burrell
Knight Ridder Newspapers
It's the latchkey kid concept taken to extremes -- 5- and 10-year-old boys left home alone in San Ramon, Calif., while their parents headed off for a five-day vacation in Las Vegas.
Prosecutors filed felony counts of child endangerment Friday against the children's father and stepmother, but the story raises the question every parent eventually asks: How young is too young to be left alone?
Some parents wouldn't dream of leaving their kids alone overnight at any age. Others do it with aplomb -- and a long list of caveats that starts with "must be 17" and "put the neighborhood on alert."
It all depends on the kid, said family therapist Marty Sochet, who encourages parents to err on the conservative side. Just because a child is 15 or 17 doesn't mean he'll keep a cool head when the grilled cheese catches fire, or the butter knife severs something critical.
"Going away overnight is a really big deal," Sochet said. "Some parents are concerned about not giving their kids enough freedom, particularly compared to the rights and privileges other kids have. There's a subtle pressure. (But) in a crisis situation, how much do you trust that that child has the capability to act responsibly?"
Some standards
Like many states, California does not stipulate how old a child must be before he can be left alone. But social service agencies in North Dakota, for example, rely on state guidelines that say children younger than 10 should not be left unsupervised for more than two hours during the day, and never at night. Children younger than 15 should not be left home alone overnight, and parents should be cautious about leaving older teens unsupervised at night.
"I think it's important to be on the cautious side with kids," said Moraga, Calif., family therapist Margie Ryerson. "Even though kids are capable of taking care of themselves from the age of 12 on, there are all kinds of situations that could attract problems."
A 12-year-old has the cognitive development to understand cause and effect, said Lisa Hardy, a psychiatrist at Childrens Hospital in Oakland, Calif. Young teens know an unwatched flame can torch a house, and running bathwater will flood the first floor. They can take care of themselves.
"[But] when you start talking about overnight," she said, "You're talking about real security issues."
Hardy could see a very savvy 14- or 15-year-old being able to care for himself for a single night, with a neighbor on call. By age 16, she said, you're risking something else.
On their own
Solo overnights mean preparing for all the parental nightmares-- injury, fire or intruders. Or, the wild partying of several hundred unexpected guests.
"My answer is never," said Ellen Peterson, who coordinates the Acalanes Drug and Alcohol Task Force. "By the time they are old enough to take care of themselves in terms of cooking food and doing laundry, their friends are old enough to walk in the door with alcohol and other drugs."
And spontaneous keggers happen to "good" kids too, said renowned parenting expert Mike Riera, who became headmaster of Oakland's Redwood Day School last year.
"It's very important for parents to not be naive about this," Riera said.