KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox She doesn't want to live with his co-worker

Dear Annie: My husband, "Ed," started a new job six months ago. He works closely with "John," and the two have become fast friends. In fact, we have spent every weekend with John, his wife and their kids for the past three months.
Ed told me yesterday that he and John have decided to sell our respective homes and build a bigger place where all of us could live under one roof. The men expect to have it all arranged by next summer. I am fond of John and his wife, but frankly, I don't know these people very well and don't want to live with another family. However, Ed rarely asks me about anything, so I feel obligated to go along.
I don't mind selling our house and moving into a place next door to John. In fact, we could purchase two separate lots now and start building adjacent homes. I'm worried if we wind up as live-in roommates, it might not work out in the long run, and we'd be stuck with an arrangement we could no longer tolerate. Will I have to ask permission from John every time we entertain? What happens when family members drop by unexpectedly?
Please help me decide what to do. Confused in Denver
Dear Denver: Don't do it. Where is your husband's head? You barely know this family. You should not be making a commitment to live with them for the next 30 years. Combining two families that may have major differences in their methods of hospitality, techniques for raising children, tolerance for household mess, and so on, is a recipe for disaster.
Tell Ed that living together could wreck his relationship with John, and two adjacent homes is as far as you will go. (And that is plenty accommodating.)
Dear Annie: I recently took my 5-year-old daughter to the dentist to get a filling. When he gave her a shot of Novocain, she began to cry. As I comforted her, the receptionist came in, pointed her finger in my daughter's face and said sternly, "You are not allowed to cry in this office. Stop it immediately."
After the procedure was over, I approached the receptionist and explained that my daughter was frightened and in pain. The receptionist accused me of being too indulgent and said I should control my child better.
First impressions can last a lifetime. My daughter was traumatized by her experience, and I hope the next dentist she sees is caring enough to change her view. Not Going Back in Menifee, Calif.
Dear Menifee: Your daughter should be seen by a pediatric dentist, one who specializes in the care of children's teeth. Ask your dentist to refer you, or contact the American Dental Association for a recommendation.
Meanwhile, let your dentist know what happened. If the boss realizes his employee has cost him a client, perhaps he will ask her to be more compassionate.
Dear Annie: I love my live-in girlfriend, "Judy," but we have a problem. Judy is extremely overweight and constantly brings food into the house that is fattening and unhealthy. I have asked her not to buy this garbage, but she doesn't listen.
I've gained 20 pounds since we met. I started an exercise program, but Judy's grocery habits are sabotaging my goal. What can I do? Yorba Linda, Calif.
Dear Calif.: If your self-control is not sufficient to avoid temptation, tell Judy she must stop buying junk food or your living arrangements may have to change. Her weight problem should not become yours. Meanwhile, help both of you by teaching Judy about proper nutrition and encouraging her to try your exercise program.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@tbi.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Creators Syndicate