ETIQUETTE Expert gives primer for holiday gift giving

What to give depends on the closeness of the relationship.
SCRIPPS HOWARD
It's a festive time of year when many people travel, visit relatives and hold parties and receptions. Gift giving is an important part of these holiday get-togethers and here are some helpful tips on gift-giving etiquette.
Robyn Freedman Spizman, author of "When Words Matter Most: Thoughtful Words and Deeds to Express Just The Right Thing at Just The Right Time" and who has reported on gift giving for more than 20 years, offers these tips:
UHoliday party gifts are a token of your appreciation for someone having you to their home. If it's a lavish dinner, then take that into consideration. And since it is the holidays, it's nice to give something they can enjoy and utilize during the holiday. Many people bring wine, which is quite predictable but also an ideal gift for a wine lover who entertains a great deal. If selecting wine, choose a beautiful wine decanter or canister or even a fabulous opener to accompany it for a clever touch.
UHoliday gifts can range in price depending upon the relationship you have with that person. If you are not close friends who regularly exchange gifts you should take a useful gift that shows your appreciation such as a book that reflects their passion of gardening or cooking or something personalized like stationery with the family's name on it or monogrammed cocktail napkins. The key is whatever you give should show thought and attention to the recipient's likes and their taste, not yours.
UAvoid taking "dust collectors." Don't expect someone else to enjoy something you wouldn't put out at your home. Think carefully about what you are giving and be practical. When in doubt, ask another friend or a spouse what the individual might like.
Francesca Abbracciamento is a professional event producer and president of Francesca Events Inc. She has produced a series of exclusive events for the White House, former President Bill Clinton and former Vice President Al Gore in addition to planning intimate events for other political celebrity personalities. She offers this advice:
UPair antique or colored glasses, perhaps deco martini glasses, champagne flutes or cordials glasses with an appropriate bottle of liquor. This gift is not only one of a kind, but also quite usable, both at the holiday soiree as well as for future entertaining.
UFor a personal hostess gift, spending can range from $45 to $80 depending upon the level of intimacy. Thoughtful wrapping or packaging is a wonderful way of sprucing up a gift that leaves you feeling good about your budget.
UAvoid giving fragrances and food gifts with nuts (for allergy reasons).
Says Abbracciamento, "Gifts should be well thought out regardless of the occasion. Taking a moment to understand the lifestyle of the host or hostess will result in the perfect gift purchase. Certainly keeping mindful of religious observances is expected. Remembering a conversation when the host referenced a favorite restaurant or travel destination is a helpful tool in your search for the perfect gift!"