KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox She doesn't think she's cut out to be a mother

Dear Annie: I am a female in my mid-20s and have been married for two years. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband and love him very much. However, my husband has made it clear that he wants children some day, and I have no desire whatsoever to have kids.
"Donald" knew before we were married that I was not a big fan of children. I am not comfortable around kids and cannot relate to them. I suppose it's possible I will change my mind sometime down the road, but at the moment, I do not wish to start a family.
I want to be fair to Donald, since he loves children, but I don't want to be pressured into becoming pregnant for his sake. He hasn't said anything about it, but I'm not getting any younger, and the issue is bound to come up within the next five years. What do I do when the time comes? Not Maternal in Chicago
Dear Not Maternal: Not everyone is cut out to be a mother, and there is no shame in that. However, many women who believe they dislike children discover they feel differently when the children are theirs. Don't let your aversion to other people's kids color your decision. You and Donald must discuss this honestly so you can make plans for your future, but please don't close the door on the possibility.
Dear Annie: I am a 38-year-old divorced father of two teenagers. I am currently involved with a woman, 34, who is also divorced and the mother of four. The woman is my first cousin.
I had not seen "Kellye" since 1977, and we reconnected a few months ago with perfectly appropriate behavior and honorable intentions. As we came to know each other better, we grew closer. We have discussed our situation at length and find our good "fit" is related to our experiences and lives, and not mutual heritage. In short, Annie, we've fallen in love with each other and are happy together.
Kellye and I have confided in selected family members about our relationship. Most are happy for us but find the situation "weird." Please give me your objective opinion on the propriety of a first-cousin relationship. In Love in New York
Dear In Love: Since you and Kellye are adults and spent many years apart, there should be no objection to your finding happiness together. These days, many states allow first cousins to marry, including New York. However, if you and Kellye are planning to marry and have children, you may want to seek genetic counseling. Good luck to you both.
Dear Annie: I had an extra ticket to a performance by our local symphony and invited my aunt. She was unable to attend at the last minute and suggested I take a friend of hers who likes the symphony. I had never met this person prior to the event, but I was happy someone was interested in the ticket.
This woman is educated and professional. To my surprise and dismay, however, she insisted on talking to me during the concert, using her normal speaking voice. I did not shush her, as I did not want to embarrass her, but she did not seem to notice my discomfort. I was horrified that an intelligent, well-educated person would not be aware that audience silence is critical to concert enjoyment -- not just mine, but everyone within earshot. How should this have been handled? El Monte, Calif.
Dear El Monte: It is quite possible that this woman has a mild hearing problem and had no idea how loud she was. Regardless, it would have been OK to smile and whisper in her ear, "Let's talk later, after the concert."
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